House Republicans Vote Down Health Care Reform….And Then “Get Down”…To Real Business…

As expected, every Republican in the House today voted to repeal President  Obama’s Health Care Reform bill….and afterward all Republican male members of the House convened in their stately House steam room where they got down to a good ol’ fashioned circle-jerk,  Eric Cantor-style.

“We had to let off a little steam ((ahem)), no pun intended,” said a dry-witted Cantor.  “And nothing lets off steam better than jerking off your fellow family-values cohorts,” he added cheerfully.

Circle-jerk emeritus, Eric Cantor, took one for the team in the way of a solid left hook to the right eye when he mistakenly tried to "jerk" a Democrat

Besides being one of the largest “Circle-Jerks” in Republican House history, making this moment momentous was the opportunity for all new incoming freshman Republicans, including 50 or so teabaggers, to serve as ceremonial “pivot men” which meant that all freshman, starting with the most right-wing douchebag on down, had to “service” more than 100 of their senior Congressmen.

Senior Pivot-Man-At-Arms-Emeritus, Louie “Cueball” Gohmert of Texas, and his assistant, Vice-Senior Pivot-Man-At-Arms, Steve King of Iowa explained the role of “Pivot Man”:

"Cueball" relinguished his esteemed "duties" to freshman ball polishers

“It’s a person who is the center of attention in a Circle Jerk usually on his knees pivoting around to service the circle jerkers,” said the bald-headed Gohmert who is well known for his Texas-style ball-polishing abilities.

“But the Pivot Man is also responsible for walking around the outside of the circle and massaging the participants’ balls,” added King.

"Being a right-winger has its advantages," added King. "You're able to espouse family values and still partake in a grand old circle jerk with other men."

There was more than enough spunk to go around as every right-wing male homophobe in the House managed to “get off” in the more than two-hour spunk fest.

“Those new freshmen Republicans from Texas were on top of their game,” said an excited and impressed Cantor.  “None of them had much in the ‘parts department,’ but they were totally into what they were doing.  They were real ‘brown nosers’….and I mean that in a good way.”

“This was a great jerk,” said Gohmert….”one of the best, even by Republican standards.”

Asked how the Republicans’ circle-jerk tradition squared with the Republican anti-gay, so-called family values platform, Gohmert had a ready answer:  “We don’t want marry each other.”

“And nothing takes the edge off being an obstructionist and serving my own selfish needs and the needs of my piggish, homophobic constituents  than a good circle-jerk,” added King.

16 responses to “House Republicans Vote Down Health Care Reform….And Then “Get Down”…To Real Business…

  1. Hahahahahahhaha.


  2. My new Rep is a teabagger. My former Rep, Bob Inglis, is a GOPer, but one of the few sane ones left. That’s why he lost in the primary run-off. I’m surprised there was a run-off, thought he would lose the primary in a landslide, because so many people in my district only get their news from FOX or Limbaugh.

  3. Those that dont know how to govern cry and obstruct Harry Reid should tell the nut bags he will bring health care to the floor when they put their plan for Americans to get health care in writing not just double talk and lies but in a bill thats supposed to replace the current one.the 112 is a big circle of jerks all right.cheney is looking for a hart what t bagger will come forward to give him theirs and will his body except a hart it he has functioned so long with out one .I have felt bad the past few years as i no longer contribute to life medical reasons but then i see cheney who only helped himself and a select few get the best health care America has to offer what a waste of time and money on a worthless greedy no good traitor.It seems to me the so called god rewards the worst scumbags on the planet the most power and wealth and the longest lives. cheney will shoot the face off of anyone that gets in his way of killing a little bird . I heard on one of the talking head stations one of cheneys close friends said he isnt the same man after 911 im thinking right hiding in his bunker when the shit hit the fan shit hit his pants so fucking scared the little weasel did manage to evade that war as well as the others and now he is portrayed as a tuff guy .Why is Americans so dam gullible ? Id like to see this bastard suffer a long slow death and his fat daughter can just go away lock jaw would be good for her.

  4. Hand to Gland combat is the only “fighting” experience any of these dirtbags have ever had.

  5. We should note this day on our calendars to document GOP crimes against humanity. At least 50,000 Americans will ‘officially’ die this year because they had no health care; then there’s the hundreds of thousands who receive atrocious health care — at dirty facilities that are to medicine what McDonalds is to cuisine. Who knows the death count? But that unnecessary loss of life falls to our elected leaders.

    The fact many aren’t dying nightly on the streets infuriates many Republicans and doesn’t cause Democrats elected to public office to lose many nights’ sleep either. In the civilized world this is unacceptable; and I like to say here, for the record, fuck you Obama. Your ‘health care reform’ was only a few crumbs off the table where you got served.

    Recently, following the GOP return, I took solace in watching ‘Deadwood’ and found all the roots of this diseased nation. Bravo David Milch! The criminal business class, the hopple-heads, the paltry intellectuals, the cowardly press, shills running for political office, the whores, senseless gunshot violence, all the people who look & think alike, the sociopathic crazy corporatists (William Randolph Hearst), the manipulated corrupt elections. A military for hire at a price…it’s all there, bare-assed with filthy and beautiful semi-Shakespearean language. I digress…

    When I was younger & less educated I believed the United States an honorable nation; nothing dispels that faster than knowing one’s own history. This nation is a sham; its ‘revolution’ never caused power to change hands except for eliminating the tribute money to London. It’s ‘system of government’ prevents coalitions and ensures a faux choice.

    American rulers have never hesitated to attack other people to keep them down. It’s been Anglo, petty bourgeois & tragic throughout this (thankfully) short history. Washington has been far worse than London towards its own people & especially people of African or indigenous origin.

    Today the United States stands alone in its antipathy towards its own; denies a decent quality of life to we who pay our ‘leaders’ whose salaries include COLAs and excellent (‘IT’S SOCIALIST!!!’) health care. No HMOs for them — that’s just for us peasants.

    They’re nothing more than prostitutes for the rich who conspire against law to keep us all down and they reward themselves and their fuck things in expectation of establishing dynasties. May the double-helix undo their pride within a generation.

    We’re being played, this ‘Democrat’ v ‘Republican’ system of government what-the-fuck — it’s bullshit. They don’t stand for us, they do their rich employers’ bidding under any guise that will get the job done. We don’t count; I suggest we take the same attitude towards them.

  6. Southpaw, these teabaggers do not deserve the pleasure of a circle jerk or a knob polishing.

    Personally, I think these right-wing racist, sexist, homophobes deserve castration.

  7. Thanks hippie for your kind words . I have always been told republicans and dems are the same and my reply has been that at least dems will give us crumbs where as the pukes will brush em on the floor and squash the crumbs with their foot so no one can have them and thats all we get if anything is crumbs. They dont worry about people going hungry cold or sick they worry about the fucking dollar guns and bibles .Ex a lent post hippie i agree 100 % and Obama is a sell out he took the first bite out of social security to be the pukes buddy and assure himself 2 terms i say fuck him and his sellout kind he wont get my vote ill write in my choice .

  8. So, Baggers in Congress… you got your damn “repeal” vote. Good for you!! What good that’ll do you, anyway – and believe me, if you later try to ‘starve’ HCR I trust the electorate will remember your actions and will – yes, I’m also referring to those who “passed” on the midterms – awake from their slumber and throw your collective asses back to the farms & megachurches from where you sprang from in 2012.

    My only hope is that Reid and the reduced-yet-still-majority Senate Dems hold the line and allow this “repeal” to sink into a quiet limbo the same way the Repubes have almost all the legislation of the previous Congress the past 2 years viz the filibuster-threat. Stand tall, Harry!! You survived Angle, now show us your backbone & survive this!

  9. E-mail message


    Date: Thu, Jan 20, 2011, 6:17pm

    To: ..Lea…

    Subject: What I Didn’t Hear
    Dear Lea,

    In the run-up to yesterday’s Republican House vote to repeal health care reform, I listened to the “debate.” Admittedly, at a somewhat greater distance than last time. But with C-SPAN, four 24-hour news networks and the internet, it’s not hard to follow what our elected representatives are saying.
    Much like last time, the “debate” has seemed rather one-sided to me.
    We still have over 30 million Americans who cannot see a doctor when they are sick. According to this Harvard study, adjusting for gender, race, smoking, weight, and just about everything else that you can think of, in any given year, the uninsured are 40% more likely to die than the insured are. That results in 44,789 additional deaths in America each year. All of which are avoidable.
    This is more than twice the number of homicides in America.
    It is more than ten times the number of deaths on 9/11. And it happens every year.
    Do you think that we should solve this problem? I do.
    And the Democratic Party does. Which is why we passed health care reform. And why we brought the wrath of lobbyists and their sewer money down on our heads in the last election – over $65 million by the Chamber of Commerce and Karl Rove’s “American Crossroads” alone.
    I see one party taking on the special interests and enacting laws to keep Americans alive, and assure that you can see a doctor when you are sick. Like in every other industrialized country in the world.
    And the other party’s health care plan? “Don’t get sick.” They keep pushing this ridiculous notion that people are uninsured because they don’t want insurance, when polling has showed that up to 90% of the uninsured are uninsured because they can’t afford insurance.
    I have heard all of the other party’s talking points about “tort reform” and interstate licensing of insurance companies. They want them because the lobbyists want them. They want tort reform because the insurance companies want tort reform. They want interstate licensing because the insurance companies want interstate licensing. If the insurance companies wanted a pony, the Republican leaders would try to give them a pony.
    We have had “tort reform” in Florida for 12 years. And we have the second-highest percentage of the uninsured in the entire country. (Number one is Texas, which is the home of tort reform.) Despite the fact that every American senior has health coverage through Medicare, 20% of Floridians have no health insurance. Including 40% of Florida’s Latinos.
    We have 14 million officially unemployed Americans, and another 14 million who can work only part-time or have just given up. Over one million American families lost their homes last year. And yet the first order of business for the new Republican majority in the House is to see to it that 30 million Americans cannot see a doctor when they are sick. Even with cancer.
    You can call me partisan, if you want. But I see one party’s leadership trying hard to solve this nation’s problems. And the other party’s leadership showing its true colors. They are callous sellouts. Always have been, always will be.
    Alan Grayson
    If you do not wish to receive further email from Congressman Grayson, please click here to unsubscribe.
    Paid for and Authorized by the Committee to Elect Alan Grayson

    • Wow Lea,

      You should be honored by such a wonderful, candid, and honest e-mail response from a great American. I’m so sorry America hasn’t the wisdom to keep people like this in office so that they can continue to work to help affect needed change in the U.S. These are sad times indeed….

      Thank you so much for contributing and sharing this letter

  10. Pingback: Desperate House Wives | Southpaw Beagle Uncut

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