John Boehner to Star in The Crying Game….Part II

(continuing in our celebration of all things Boehner in this, “Boehner Recognition Month”, we bring you another retread in the life and times of John Boehner):

It seems that new House Speaker,  John “Piles” Boehner, has found another career for which he can put his “crying on demand” skills to good use.

The new Speaker, well known for his spontaneous outbursts of crying, blubbering, and sobbing, will have one of the lead roles in “The Crying Game-Part II,” a sequel to Neil Jordan’s 1992 thriller that included one of the most stunning scenes in film history when the character, played by actor Jaye Davidson, dropped his/her drawers revealing she was a he after he was thought to have been a woman throughout the film.

Speaker Boehner finds out he snagged the lead role in Crying Game II

But get ready because Part II will have a shocking twist as well (stop reading now if you don’t want us to ruin the surprise). “In Part II, John will be that guy/gal,” said first-time director, Amanda Ryde.  “In this version, John will play a ‘man’ but, just before he ‘gets down,’ as it were, with a female suitor, it’s revealed that John is a woman.  And when the woman who expected to have sex with John discovers that he stunningly does NOT have a pecker, she berates him until he cries and cries.”

Amanda Ryde, Director: The Crying Game II

Such rebukes and subsequent crying take place throughout the film…thus the name, “The Crying Game.”  “If you recall, there was never that much actual crying per se in the original ‘Crying Game,'” added Ryde.  “As a matter of fact, I could never quite figure out why they called it that instead of just calling it ‘Woman with a Dick,’  or something like that, because that one scene was really all that movie was about,” added Ryde, bashing the original.  “This one will be more original because we have what we like to call ‘The Boehner Factor.'”

Rep Boehner poses in picture with fat slob constituent with deep pockets whose hot wife Boehner would be balling if he had a dick.

This will be Speaker Boehner’s first major acting role but won’t be the first time he’s tried his hand at acting.

“Oh I’ve been acting ever since I was a kid,” said Boehner.  “I played ‘Tinkerbell’ in our H.S. production of Peter Pan.  And I played one of the ‘boys’ in “Boys in the Band” in college.  Plus I’ve essentially been acting ever since I was elected to the House.  This should be a piece of cake.  And you know how everyone calls me ‘Boner’ instead of Boehner?  Well the ironic thing in this movie is when the truth comes out, I’ll have anything BUT a boner…hahahahahaaha!”

“He’ll be perfect because if  old ‘Boner’ is good at anything, it’s crying,” said Rep. Boehner’s long-time pal, Rep Louie Gohmert (TX).  “Boner is one crying motherfucker.”

23 responses to “John Boehner to Star in The Crying Game….Part II

  1. LOL he likes his wood wind instruments.

  2. When I watched Boneheaded Jerk Boy to me he looked like he was trying really hard not to crack up laughing….crocodile tears…he is so fakey and I can just picture him patting one of his teabagger Mutt People (Joe Bageant) on the head and then turning to his SS gurads and telling them to those A**holes away from me…..they reek!

  3. Are his tears orange?

  4. Speaking on behalf of all women everywhere, please do not try to ascribe his crybaby antics to a missing Y-chromesome or even think of trying to foist him onto our gender. We have enough problems already with real men. I’ve spoken to the leader of the orange crocodiles and they don’t want him, either.

  5. Boner claims he’s so appalled that the Gun-Happy Racist Tea Baggers/Tea Partiers are making fatal threats to Dems, especially African-American Dems. My fucking ass! If Rethugs wanted to be appalled, let them call off the First Grade educated Redneck Militia and tell them they will do better than they would without this bill! Boner said the gun toters spread violence and that’s not the American way. Bullfuck! What history book has he read about this fucking country that’s not undoctored?!

    • He’s paying lip service to their actions. And by doing so he’s channeling encouragement….endorsement, in fact, because violence is precisely what he wants so he can stand back from it, without taking responsibility, and say “See, I told you so”

  6. This country should be called, as those great purveyors of film culture, The Three Stooges said, The A. A. of M. The Almalgamated Association of Morons! Whenever anything should be welcomed, it would be anywhere but here. We get the gun-crazy kill them-lynch them mob in full gear, starting with moron fear over civil rights and continuing with gay rights, health care and immigration. And who are the morons involved? Why, Rethugs of course!!!

  7. Hi! Thanx South Paw Beagle! I love your blog! I need to blow off steam and your blog is a Godsend! I don’t like dropping the f-bomb too much (Mom calls it “unladylike” =) ) but the Rethugs and Tea Partiers/Tea Baggers drive me batshit!

  8. How I’ve missed my fave beagle. Papa, Me & the Boo had a good laugh over this one my darlin. 😉

  9. If flat slob constituent’s wife needs a job, she can work as a billboard for Chik-Fil-A “Eet Mor Chikkin”

    That dress!

  10. he is such a coward. The next two years will be fun to watch.

    The lame fucking non voters get full credit.

    • Agree 100%

      The percentage of the population that thinks Bush did a great job, that loves Sarah Palin, and that approved of Nixon during Watergate is 33%. That is the percentage of people in this country who can be fooled all of the time.

      When the percentage of lunatics in the population is higher than the average voter turnout, very scary things can happen.

  11. thatsitfortheotherwon

    I think we should start spelling his name in the traditional German: Böhner. Give him a little more Nazi cred.

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