For the first time in its storied history, a member of the Baseball Hall of Fame was kicked out: former Detroit Tiger and Philadelphia Philly pitching great, and current U.S. Senator (KY), Jim Bunning.
“It wasn’t even a tough decision,” said Hall of Fame election official, Hugh Jorgan. “In fact, it was unanimous. We can’t have a f**king stupid shit, whack-job like this within our ranks.”
“How did we do it? You mean kick him out? We just picked up his shit…. plaque, bronze statue of him, the bronze baseball and glove–all of it–and just threw it the f**k out back in the trash,” said Whitey Shablonski, Hall of Fame grounds keeper. “They told me to chuck the shit and I just chucked it…..no problem. In fact, I was glad to do it. Bunning is f**king loony tunes.”
Bunning pitched in the Major Leagues for 17 seasons, most notably with the Detroit Tigers and the Philadelphia Phillies. When he retired, he had the second-highest total of career strikeouts in Major League history; he is currently 17th. Bunning pitched a perfect game in 1964, a feat that has been accomplished only eighteen times in Major League history. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1996. Bunning has been a Kentucky politician for what seems like an insufferable eternity and was elected to the Senate in 1998 where he has been a arrogant f**kwad ever since.
“Yep, the other Hall of Fame members are happy about it too,” added Jorgan. I got a call just today from Whitey Ford, Warren Spahn, Willie Mays, and Brooks Robinson, all of whose statues were in the same row as Bunning’s. They were happy as shit to get his dead ass out of there. Nobody wanted to have their statue close to Bunning’s and were always asking for theirs to be moved which was a pain in the ass because those things are so f**king heavy. So, thankfully, we don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
If anyone is interested in Bunning’s bust, they need to get to the trash bin behind the Baseball Hall of Fame at 25 Main Street, Cooperstown, NY by trash pick up time at 9:30 tomorrow morning.