The following recent letter to Southpaw from a concerned citizen prompted an inquiry by our staff and should, indeed, prompt nationwide concern:
Sure, the President has recently released what looks like his true birth certificate….but from WHERE? Hawaii? Us folks in Alabama don’t know what an Hawaii is…so we “Googled” it and found out that “Hawaii” is NOT EVEN IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!!!!! We looked all over Florida, all around Louisiana, and all over Tennessee thinking we would find this place but it was nowhere to be found.It turns out that it’s some tiny island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. “Google” even said it was our 50th state. What a lie. Everyone knows there are only 11 states in the Confederacy….Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Texas, Virginia, Arkansas, Tennessee, and
North Carolina. Well, 13 if you count Missouri and Kentucky.
Therefore, I conclude that Obama is no more a citizen of the great United States of America now than he was BEFORE he came up with the long form of his birth certificate yesterday. As far as us folks from the great state of Alabama are concerned, this man Obama might as well be a citizen of Mars.
A concerned Republican Tea Party Patriot from Alabama”
Well, I think that about sums things up. We, the staff at Southpaw, looked into this issue as well and found that our Alabama proud patriot is right. Hawaii is NOT attached to the United States. It is a tiny set of islands some 2000 miles in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. How it got there we don’t know. But we do know that once America and, indeed, the world finds out about this, without question this could turn out to be one of the greatest controversies since Geraldo Rivera opened up Al Capone’s vault in 1986 and came up empty. It was a hoax then….and this place called Hawaii is a hoax now.
To prove our point, we traveled to America’s epicenter of objectivity and progressive thought: Wal-Mart, where we spoke to a number of customers in the parking lot:
“Pardon me a moment sir….what are your thoughts on President Obama’s citizenship?”
“Osama? I thought we done caught him in that hole in Iraq. Least that ‘s what I done heard.”
“What about you ma’am? Your thoughts on this place called Hawaii and whether or not the President is a citizen of the United States or not?”
“Well, as far as I’m concerned, if he ain’t from South Carolina he ain’t much uh nuttin’ to begin with. And besides, if he is who he says he is, how come the price of this box of 100 corndogs done gone up some 75 cents just since last week? How come is that?!?!”
“Uh, I wouldn’t know ma’am. But it sounds definitely sounds like a conspiracy cooked up by this man from some place called Hawaii. “
Folks, as far as Southpaw is concerned, America’s verdict is in: This President is a foreigner….plain and simple. We challenge him to produce a document that proves he was born not IN but ON the United States of America and not some island in the pacific. As far as we’re concerned, until he does that he is NOT our President…..that, and change the color of his skin.