It’s amazing what a smile can do.
That’s the message that Biff, Hap, Robbie, Ernie, and Chip Romney, the five smiling sons of Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney would like to get out to the world.
“A day without a bright and happy smile is like a day without sunshine,” said the elder Romney son, Biff, paraphrasing Anita Bryant’s famous orange juice commercial.
“Statistics show that a smile can not only keep the doctor away but can have a tremendous positive effect on bad things like abortion and higher taxes,” said Chip Romney.
His four siblings nodded in agreement.
“Well what about other bad things like the death penalty, homelessness, and racism?” I asked. ”How does a smile make these things go away?”
“Well first of all, we’re not really sure if those things you mentioned are really bad things,” said Ernie Romney. ”Dad says the jury is still out on that,” Ernie added with a chuckle.
“And you know what?” said Chip Romney….”some things are just left up to God.”
((“that’s right Chip….spot on younger brother….you’re wise beyond your years little brother”)), chimed in Chip’s older brothers as they beamed with pride.
“One thing we know for sure, though, is that a good, healthy smile will fix this economy!” said Hap Romney with exurberance.
…”and if some of those government military people over there in Syria would just smile a little bit more, well maybe just maybe they wouldn’t be so angry and kill women and children so much,” added Biff.
“You know you’re exactly right Biff,” said Robbie in complete agreement. ”And maybe it wouldn’t kill some of those women and children to smile back every now and then !”
“A LITTLE MORE SMILING AND A LITTLE LESS KILLING!”, shouted out Ernie.
((“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”)) laughed the brothers four. ”Ernie was always the cut-up amongst us five,” Biff confided to me. ”He takes after Dad…always keeping us in stitches,” he added with a brighter than bright smile.
“We just want to spread the power of smile,” said Hap, “and maybe just maybe we can start smiling away those pesky problems from one coast to another and maybe the power of smile will even spread to Iraq, and Afghanistan, and all those other evil places where people just don’t smile enough.”
“Wow Hap,” said Chip. ”You sound just like a philosopher….and your words bring a tear to my eye.”
“None of that now!” said big brother Biff….”Let’s have a SMILE !!….AND A SONG!!!”
“♫ When you’re smilin’….keep on smilin’
The whole world smiles with you
And when you’re laughin’….keep on laughin’
The sun comes shinin’ through
But when you’re cryin’…. you bring on the rain
So stop your frownin’….be happy again
Cause when you’re smilin’….keep on smilin’
The whole world smiles with you.” ♫
“Yeaaa!” the brothers shouted, flashing five gleeful smiles.
“You know?” said Robbie with a philosophical look on his face…”I won’t be satisfied until we do for the world’s problems with smiles what First Lady Nancy Reagan did for the War on Drugs with her Just Say No campaign.”
“You’re exactly right Robbie,” said Chip.
“Actually Robbie’s not right,” I said. ”The 80′s Just Say No program was discredited as a completely ineffective program that did nothing but slap a superficial slogan on top of America’s insatiable appetite for drugs. In fact, statistics show that drug use actually increased during that period and has generally been increasing since.”
“Well, that can’t be true,” said Hap with what resembled the first frown of the day on his face. ”Dad says Just Say No ended the War on Drugs.”
“That’s right,” said the other boys, “and Dad knows best.”
“But enough of this frettin’,” said Biff. ”Who’s UP for a SMILE!?!”
“WE ARE!!!” shouted the happiest brothers on the planet at this very moment.
“Well I must say,” I said…”you five are certainly the most smiling five I’ve ever seen. Why you almost cause a smile to break out on MY face…..almost. But I have to ask you…..where do you boys get your inspiration for all this smiling?”
“Besides Dad you mean?” asked Ernie.
“Yes, besides your father.”
“Well since you ask…..these are the two people who have influenced us the most in our lives,” as Ernie pulled out a photo from his wallet and held it up to show me:
“Hey!!”, said a delighted Hap. ”We’d like to dedicate the following song to all unhappy people throughout the world to include all those unsmiling people in hellholes like Iraq and Syria and Texas.”
“((Well said Hap!))”