Category Archives: Excrement of the Month

The Execution Board of recent Excrement of the Month State, Georgia, has sentenced to death the seven out of nine eye witnesses who named the now-executed Troy Davis as the murderer of a Savannah, GA police officer in 1989 and later recanted their testimony stating they were coerced by police.  In addition, the board has sentenced to death the three jury members who helped convict Davis and later said they would now vote to acquit.  Georgia will also sentence former President Jimmy Carter, Pope Benedict, members of Amnesty International, and members of the just-retired band R.E.M. to life sentences….

“We have to close the door on this sad chapter in Georgia’s history,” said Execution Board President, Jimmy Bob Jones.  ”We figure this is the best way to do it.”

Typical Georgia cracker who elected former GA Gov. Sonny Perdue who appointed Jimmy Bob

“Why have you taken action against R.E.M.?  They’re the best band ever to come out of the State of Georgia,” said Southpaw scratching his head in complete bewilderment.

“Ever since those boys came out with that song Losing My Religion we have been wanting to do something about them,” said Jimmy Bob.  “We decided now was as good a time as any other.”

Former R.E.M. band members planning to reunite as Christian rock band after jailhouse conversion

A spokesman for the U.S. Supreme Court said today that they will not intervene in these death sentences although they may take a look at the life sentence imposed on Pope Benedict.

More details at 11….

I was shopping the other day when some morbidly obese woman passed by running her mouth on a cell phone.  I overheard her say how “blessed” she was and how life is just a “blessing” and how we’re so “blessed” in our lives, etc.  It was then I realized, “I gotta get the fuck out of here.”  Not just the store….but this  planet.    I also realized just what excrement Americans are and how much I hate us.

And then I  woke up this morning, like I do most mornings, wondering how did I manage to be born into a nation of such overt stupidity and ignorance.  How did this happen?  I’m sure some of you wonder the same thing.  How come I wasn’t born in Niger….or Switzerland,  or born on Venus, or Saturn?   How was I born into a nation of people, 50 % (or higher) of who believe 9-11 was perpetrated by Saddam, 75 % of who believe in Noah’s Ark, 92 percent who believe in the myth of the man in the sky?

How can I be the same nationality of a population that comes up with such sayings as:

“I want my country back”

“Support our troops”

“Praise Jesus” and/or  “Have a blessed Day”

“I’d rather fight them over there than fight them here”

“Where’s his birth certificate?”

…and say them over, and over, and over, and over again, ad nauseam, until they actually become part of the American vernacular.

And  contrary to what you believe, or what it might have been like in the past, it’s not just a few people saying, thinking, or believing such aforementioned things. It’s many, many people.  Just look around you on at any given time on any given day.  These people are all around you.  They’re everywhere.  They outnumber us now by the millions (“us” being the obvious minority of people who don’t say and believe such aforementioned things). They’re everywhere….on every street corner, at every stop light, in every waiting room of every doctor’s office, at every DMV, in every supermarket, in every video store, at every football game, in every convenience store, in every library, on every bus, in every work place….everywhere…. saying nonsense, thinking nonsense, doing nonsensical things.

How was  I born into a culture that self medicates more than all other nations combined, that sequesters itself into isolation with its only relationships coming via the “no-touch” approach of social networking cyberspace.

All we do successfully (I didn’t say “good”) is Wal-Mart, Disney World, the exporting of death in the form of cigarettes to China and Russia and weapons to Ciudad de Juarez, making shitty movies that still make mega millions because Americans have no taste and no class, peddling jingoism and phony religion to more and more stupid people,  executing people, and making commercials about medicine that makes your dick hard. We don’t even do war good anymore.

We are saturated with substance abuse, personality disorders, self-inflicted abuse and loneliness, self-loathing, and tattoos.  We no longer do education (it’s irreparably broken at the K-12 level and unaffordable at the higher education level).

We are cruel, bullying, mean-spirited, intolerant, ugly, morbidly obese, hateful, bitter, vengeful,  sickeningly and blindly patriotic, hypocritical, piggish, vindictive, chickenhawks with no soul, no originality, no character, no humor beyond the banal and unfunny, no thoughtfulness, and no hope.  We want no human contact preferring, instead, to text every thought that emanates from our empty minds. But most of all, more than any single thing, we are malevolent beings wishing nasty and evil things on others, every single day, so that we may live off the misery of others and live vicariously through our demented glee.

We help others in need after they’re ravaged by tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, etc., and help the homeless, hungry, and needy.  Why?  Because of Jesus. That’s the only reason. If it weren’t for Jesus, the poor, the hungry, the disadvantaged, and the beaten would just be fucked.  If you don’t pray or know the name of your church or tell people to “have a blessed day” or give syrupy, phony, insincere hugs to other fat, obese people just like yourself,  you can forget getting any help if you’ve been fucked over by a hurricane or a tornado or whatever.

Btw…..92 % of us believe in God.  That is, was, and will always be incomprehensible to me.  92 % of us believe in a senseless myth of the big man on high and allow ourselves to be guided by such.   That must mean the eight % of us who don’t are the ones who commit all crimes, to include rape, genocide, and pedophilia, wage war on others, and break every one of the commandments on a daily basis.

So long as I’m part of that nasty eight %, then it’s okay for me to say I hate us.  We are excrement all the time but most certainly this month.

Clue:  It’s a “he”, he’s white, he’s a Republican, and he’s a racist motherfucker……and, of course, he is from Texas.

….okay, so that’s not much of a clue since that description would probably apply to 3/4 of Texas.

….I guess you’ll just have to wait

p.s.   Between now and this weekend when April’s Excrement of the Month is published, take your best shot at guessing who it might be.