It’s been awhile since I’ve written from the heart on the pages of SPB….but I believe what happened in a particular movie theater in a particular part of America recently warrants yours truly speaking out.
In the wake of yet another horrible mass shooting in America, this time in Aurora, Colorado, I think it’s time to reflect on what America REALLY needs. Obviously, besides more guns…up to and including arming movie and theater goers (Southpaw Beagle endorses the recent Michele Bachmann-Louie Gohmert bill making it mandatory for all movie ticket purchasers to carry a gun or rent one from the gun kiosks located in the concessions area of the theater), more prisons, and more capital punishment for more crimes, what this crisis calls for is more hugs….and more teddy bears.
Clearly as long as we have a communist for a President, there’s little, if any, chance that we’re going to be able to realize our dream of having a gun in every hand in America….so until we can get a like-minded American like Rand Paul or Michele Bachmann in the White House, we need to hug as many people as we can. And, we need more teddy bears….many, many more teddy bears. President Obama has accomplished nothing during his first term (and thanks be to God it’s almost over)….so it’s up to we the people to do something to make this a better place. We should form our own emergency rapid response organization. Instead of calling it FEMA….we could call it, FEMAH: First Everybody Must All Hug.
Scientific studies show that hugs and crocodile tears make everything, to include pain and tragedy, go away a lot quicker…even if the hugs are disingenuous. The key is to just grasp the closest person to you….preferably someone who is morbidly obese, and just start hugging.
And we have to act quicker when it comes to dispatching as many teddy bears of all sizes, shapes, and colors, to the scenes of tragedies. At last report, apparently only a few teddy bears and yellow ribbons were spotted at the multiplex theater in Aurora, Colorado. Don’t people realize how important it is to pile a mountain of teddy bears, preferably with lots of Hersey chocolate hugs attached to them along with heart lockets and other crackerjack box-like trinkets, around the scene of a shooting?
I’m pretty sure Obama will try to take away our hugs and teddy bears just like he has tried to take away our guns. We need to fight this with everything we’ve got.
So spread the word. First Everyone Must All Hug (Femah).
Teddy bears of America in a second Obama term will end up here
A truly sad day for the Country.
“I’m the innocent bystander
Somehow I got stuck
Between the rock
and a hard place…
Send lawyers, guns and money
The shit has hit the fan…”
Warren Zevon
Zevon was a prophet. Glad he’s not around to see this crap again and again and again
Agreed my friend.
peace.
Nice post, lefty. I grew up in Colorado (partly) and it used to be a pretty nice place. There actually were rugged individualists there who, sadly, seem to have been replaced with Bible toting rednecks and gun nuts of all stripes.
Fuck this shit.
How many of the 59 wounded were uninsured, I wonder. How many of the survivors are going to need therapy? Thank goodness we are going to have Obamacare soon because in the most bullet-riddled country in the developed world, we sure need it.
Carlin was right. We are “circling the drain”…
George Carlin was the most underrated social commentator in modern history. He just got better and more profound as he aged. I really miss him.
Yep.