by gordita
Yellow jacket toxin. Cobra venom dripping from the fang. Crushed shark cartilage. Bullfrog skin extract. Camel colostrum secretion. Sterile snail slime. And most powerful of all, DINGO drool. These are the elixirs that Sarah Palin has swallowed and slathered onto her body in order to retain the fresh glow of youth.
Then something went wrong…terribly wrong.
.I need some more of that DINGO juice RIGHT NOW
“What went wrong?” asked gordita.
“Delta lost her bags, including the one with the potions in it. On a flight to…of all places…New York City,” explains Palin’s long-time personal assistant Beau Tocks. “If she had been en route to Hoboken, Georgia or Burning Cross, South Carolina, she might have been all right. But New York City put us in a crisis situation.”
DELUDED INFANTILE NINCOMPOOPS GETTING OFF at Palin rally in Hoboken, GA
“I’m not sure I follow. What exactly is the crisis?”
See for yourself
“When a hateful, mean-spirited woman loses her bloom, she goes fugly in a hurry,” explained Mr. Tocks. “For example, here is Maggie Gallagher advocating death to homosexuals:”
Marriage is between one man and one grotesque woman
“Here is Karen Handel advocating cancer for poor women:”
Miss Hoboken 1979
“Here is Ann Coulter arguing that black Democrats should not be allowed to vote:”
And here is former Florida Secretary of State, Katherine Harris who used the power of her office to make sure black Democrats didn’t vote.
…
“As you can see,” said Mr. Tocks, “all that bile builds up in their pores. Even when they are airbrushed, they look ghoulish…maniacal even.”
“Yes I see all that but what is the big crisis you’re so worried about?” asked gordita.
“Delta found the bag with Sarah Palin’s Magic Mirror. She’s about to ask the big question.”
“The big question?”
“Yeah…you know…Mirror Mirror on the Wall….”
“Uh oh.”
“It’s about to get really, really, really ugly, my friend.”
Seriously? I’M the fairest one of all?
Perpetually ugly inside=prematurely ugly outside
Yep. The crazy creeps out when the veneer thins.
fuck,she really looks ugly !
No kidding. Sibelius and Clinton are aging so gracefully. These cruel Republican women look like mythological beasts.
Yes – they’re comfortable in their own skin – which is a beautiful thing.
Love it, Gordita. You nailed it.
They’re ugly and cancerous inside – and it shows on the outside as well, although Republican men sure don’t recognize it. Or perhaps they do and they’re turned on by it.
They’re all mean, spiteful, and callous.
Hey MontanaHome. Hope you are staying cool.
Yup.
Heh.