It’s amazing what a smile can do.
That’s the message that Biff, Hap, Robbie, Ernie, and Chip Romney, the five smiling sons of Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney would like to get out to the world.
Five smiling lads….and one proud Dad
“A day without a bright and happy smile is like a day without sunshine,” said the elder Romney son, Biff, paraphrasing Anita Bryant’s famous orange juice commercial.
“Statistics show that a smile can not only keep the doctor away but can have a tremendous positive effect on bad things like abortion and higher taxes,” said Chip Romney.
His four siblings nodded in agreement.
When it comes to smiling, these five handsome young men are in 110 % agreement
“Well what about other bad things like the death penalty, homelessness, and racism?” I asked. ”How does a smile make these things go away?”
“Well first of all, we’re not really sure if those things you mentioned are really bad things,” said Ernie Romney. ”Dad says the jury is still out on that,” Ernie added with a chuckle.
“And you know what?” said Chip Romney….”some things are just left up to God.”
Some things are just left up to him
((“that’s right Chip….spot on younger brother….you’re wise beyond your years little brother”)), chimed in Chip’s older brothers as they beamed with pride.
“One thing we know for sure, though, is that a good, healthy smile will fix this economy!” said Hap Romney with exurberance.
…”and if some of those government military people over there in Syria would just smile a little bit more, well maybe just maybe they wouldn’t be so angry and kill women and children so much,” added Biff.
“I wish I could just go there and get everyone a-smilin’, said Biff Romney choking up. “And I wish I could just change their name from Syria to Smylria.”
“You know you’re exactly right Biff,” said Robbie in complete agreement. ”And maybe it wouldn’t kill some of those women and children to smile back every now and then !”
“A LITTLE MORE SMILING AND A LITTLE LESS KILLING!”, shouted out Ernie.
((“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”)) laughed the brothers four. ”Ernie was always the cut-up amongst us five,” Biff confided to me. ”He takes after Dad…always keeping us in stitches,” he added with a brighter than bright smile.
“We just want to spread the power of smile,” said Hap, “and maybe just maybe we can start smiling away those pesky problems from one coast to another and maybe the power of smile will even spread to Iraq, and Afghanistan, and all those other evil places where people just don’t smile enough.”
“Wow Hap,” said Chip. ”You sound just like a philosopher….and your words bring a tear to my eye.”
“None of that now!” said big brother Biff….”Let’s have a SMILE !!….AND A SONG!!!”
A smile will win in this ballpark any day of the week
“♫ When you’re smilin’….keep on smilin’
The whole world smiles with you
And when you’re laughin’….keep on laughin’
The sun comes shinin’ through
But when you’re cryin’…. you bring on the rain
So stop your frownin’….be happy again
Cause when you’re smilin’….keep on smilin’
The whole world smiles with you.” ♫
“Yeaaa!” the brothers shouted, flashing five gleeful smiles.
“You know?” said Robbie with a philosophical look on his face…”I won’t be satisfied until we do for the world’s problems with smiles what First Lady Nancy Reagan did for the War on Drugs with her Just Say No campaign.”
“You’re exactly right Robbie,” said Chip.
“Actually Robbie’s not right,” I said. ”The 80′s Just Say No program was discredited as a completely ineffective program that did nothing but slap a superficial slogan on top of America’s insatiable appetite for drugs. In fact, statistics show that drug use actually increased during that period and has generally been increasing since.”
“Well, that can’t be true,” said Hap with what resembled the first frown of the day on his face. ”Dad says Just Say No ended the War on Drugs.”
“That’s right,” said the other boys, “and Dad knows best.”
“But enough of this frettin’,” said Biff. ”Who’s UP for a SMILE!?!”
“WE ARE!!!” shouted the happiest brothers on the planet at this very moment.
“Well I must say,” I said…”you five are certainly the most smiling five I’ve ever seen. Why you almost cause a smile to break out on MY face…..almost. But I have to ask you…..where do you boys get your inspiration for all this smiling?”
“Besides Dad you mean?” asked Ernie.
“Yes, besides your father.”
“Well since you ask…..these are the two people who have influenced us the most in our lives,” as Ernie pulled out a photo from his wallet and held it up to show me:
“Hey!!”, said a delighted Hap. ”We’d like to dedicate the following song to all unhappy people throughout the world to include all those unsmiling people in hellholes like Iraq and Syria and Texas.”
“((Well said Hap!))”
LOL!! That bright, wholesome Mormon glow is something, isn’t it? It’s the same kind of glow you see in a Miss America Contest.
great comparison bbbb
It’s also that sincere look. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
It takes real talent, w/ the proper mix of narcissism and lots of practice, to pull it off.
You know how Mitts lover boy The Donald has said “many people have said that the President is not a citizen of the United States”?
Well, I’m starting my own little campaign. ‘Many people have said’, Mitt has more than one wife. In fact, Mitt has three other wives, one in the Cayman Islands, one in Switzerland, and one in Mexico! That’s four wives counting Ann! Ann has three ‘Sister Wives’!!!
Mitt will not release his tax returns, because he’s hiding them!
Now I’d like to to have you folks repeat this information to anyone who will listen.
It will start out like a whisper and turn into a ROAR!
As for those smiles, there may be a smile on their faces, BUT there is a chill in their eyes, and that’s what scares the shit out of me!
peace,
debi(~};)
LOL! I’ll do what I can to spread the word
Fantastic!!!
nice….i like the professionalism
“I believe in professionalism, but playing is not like a job. You have to be grateful to have the opportunity to play”
My friend, I say a little prayer, before I go to sleep each night, in gratitude to George W. Bush for having given me the opportunity and the freedom to play. God bless George W. Bush…..God bless the USA
This looks like a photo album to an Up With People get away. Nice is fine, but don’t ever trust too nice.
Wow !! You read my mind my friend. Initially I was going to have the Romney boys as the second coming of “Up With People” but I was afraid most people (the very few who actually READ this blog) would not know who “Up With People” is. I remember Up With People from the 60′s (back when they wore double knit, polyester leisure suits) but I’ve not heard anything about this ridiculous pseudo religious singing cult since then. It’s amazing that you thought of Up With People cause that’s EXACTLY who I thought of when I saw the photo of the Romney boys.
I dated a real cutie in high school (who was not putting out, thank you), who’s sole ambition was to join Up With People after graduation. Alas, young love needs some boinga-boinga to thrive…
LOL ! Good thing for you that you didn’t hitch up w/ Up With People….otherwise you wouldn’t be the lovable pinko commie that you are
I remember Up With People. The Up With People played a show at Fisherman’s Wharf in Monterey, CA when I was 8 years old. My Mother took me, we left after the second song. I remember my beloved Mother say to me they were a bunch of Jesus freaks and ‘they’ wanted to indoctrinate young people into some kind of cult! Now mind you, my Mother was a good Catholic woman, and for her to say something like that about Up With People was quite an eye opener for me!
peace,
debi(~};)
…and your mom was spot-on
Those were the days — when you had to look pretty hard to find bad music in San Fran. LOL.
Frankly Southpaw, we both know we are showing our age a little bit with the Up With People stuff. That’s funny as hell that you were considering using it in this piece. After the title and the first picture, Up With was the first thing that popped into my pea brain. And you’re right on about the clothes. Everyone else was smoking weed and wearing jeans, these clowns were in white pants and skirts (below the knee), various pastel colored sweaters, and wearing Mickey Mouse Club perma-smiles. Those folks were the precursors to Jerry Falwells disciples.
Yea, knowing about Up w People is, I’m afraid, a dead giveaway on age. Oh well. Can’t turn back the clocks. My father force fed my brothers and I a godawful Up w People show in the late 60′s at the shitty church we went to, and to this day I can see him flashing my older brother and I dirty looks as we smirked and laughed throughout the show. Below is a shot of the Up With People that I remember:
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=Up+With+People+images&hl=en&sa=X&biw=1097&bih=502&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=w7GJAjkvhFD2zM:&imgrefurl=http://www.disinfo.com/2011/09/the-hidden-story-of-the-up-with-people-singers/&docid=4KSS5cmN-3NBvM&imgurl=http://disinfo.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/UWPColwellslowres.jpg&w=1250&h=946&ei=SIvOT6alLeOJ6AHB1s2UDA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=293&vpy=62&dur=302&hovh=144&hovw=201&tx=205&ty=79&sig=109945263504086867412&page=2&tbnh=145&tbnw=202&start=10&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:10,i:99
Hilarious. They never did change much, either.