In a solemn ceremony in the White House Rose Garden today, President Obama awarded the Medal of Freedom to five great Americans who distinguished themselves through could have acts of heroism, would have self-sacrifice, and almost loyalty to their country.
The five recipients were former Massachusetts Governor and Republican candidate for President, Mitt Romney, former Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich, the President of Fox News, Roger Ailes, former Pennsylvania Senator, Rick Santorum, and former Vice-President Dick Cheney.
“These five heroes have distinguished themselves with stalwart proclamations of patriotism and expressions of jingoism,” said President Obama before presenting the Medals of Freedom to the five gentlemen for what they wish had been their hope and aspiration to give their lives for their country.
“Governor Romney is a great American who wanted desperately to serve in Vietnam but just couldn’t make it,” said President Obama as he presented the Governor with this honor. “He distinguished himself by wanting to have been the Commander in Chief and wanting to have captured Osama Bin Laden. Tragically, he was held back by his duty to raid corporations and make hundreds of millions of dollars.”
“Rick Santorum distinguished himself by proclaiming himself as America’s greatest patriot who would have done more than anyone if he had gotten his wish to serve in the Gulf War or any other conflict,” said President Obama of the former Senator and Republican Presidential candidate. “But he had to serve another war…..the war being waged by liberals on Christianity right here in the U.S.”
Newt Gingrich has distinguished himself as perhaps the greatest non-Vietnam serving Vietnam veteran in America, said the President of this great, great American and former Speaker of the House. ”I should have gone over there,” Newt once said about his desire to have fought and died in the rice paddies of Cambodia. ”A number of unfortunate deferments deprived Newt from living his dream of doing what he imagined and dreamed of doing. And for that, Newt is a distinguished hero by anyone’s definition,” added the President.
“Roger Ailes distinguished himself by being a legendary leader in his own mind of platoons and divisions in Vietnam and leading men into battle,” said the President of the bovine and corpulent hero. ”Here’s a man who has displayed gargantuan and elephantine dreams of service to his country that surpass those of our greatest Americans. Well done sir.”
“And last but certainly not least, Vice-President Dick Cheney distinguished himself by by showing bravery and courage under the fire by sending hundreds of thousands of others into combat,” said President Obama as he presented Cheney with his Medal of Freedom. “This is a great man who dreamed of serving, wanted to serve, demanded to serve but because of a pesky deferment x 4 was unable to realize his greatest desire: to give his life for his country. He instead chose to do something even greater: assure that tens of thousands of others gave up their lives for their country.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen….please give a round of applause for these five great and distinguished American heroes.”
“God bless you….and God Bless the United States of America.”