The U.S. Supreme Court today ruled in favor of upholding a new law requiring all residents in the deep south to say “Have a Blessed Day” at the end of their answering machine messages.
“I think it’s the right thing to do,” said the Rev Billy James Hargis, “given the fact that here in the Deep South about 99 percent of us are good, God-fearing Christians and everybody needs to know that…even when people call us on the phone and we’re not at home.”
“I think it’s fucked up,” said the evil, heretical, non-god-fearing, vermin disbelieving, Madalyn Murray O’Hara-loving, rat-fuck, commie rotten bastard, devil-worshiping one-percenter piece of shit Hugh E. Rection. “I mean, they want to fine me like $500 fucking dollars because a neighbor ratted me out to the Christian police here in Georgia and told them that my answering machine message said ‘blow me’ instead of ‘Have a Blessed Day.’ I mean, what a pussy thing to say at the end of your answering machine message to begin with.”
“I’m glad this young man was fined,” added Hargis. “We should make an example of all those trying to be different in our state or any other state in the Deep South. Hopefully they will reinstate the death penalty for those caught violating this new law. I have zero tolerance for non-Christian type things….especially this type of the thing when it’s a clear violation of the Gingrich-Vitter Act,” referring to the two lawmakers who were responsible for drafting the new law and pushing through various state legislatures and to the Supreme Court where they knew they would face little, if any, resistance to the law.
The new law takes effect on April 1st in the states of Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi, Florida, and South Carolina. First-time violators of the new law will be fined $500. The third strike will result in penalties of up to $10,000 with 15 years in prison.