Former United States Senator from Virginia, George Allen, who saw his Senate re-election hopes implode after using the word “macaca” at a Ku Klux Klan rally in 2006, has legally changed his first name to “Rufus” in his effort to appeal to black voters and anyone with darker skin than his.
Allen repeatedly called S.R. Sidarth, a volunteer for Democrat James Webb, “macaca” at the Klan rally on August 15th, 2006 in SW Virginia. The “mistake” ultimately cost Allen his Senate seat which Webb won in November, 2006. Since then, Allen claims to have made a concerted effort to define himself as an “enlightened guy” who, besides changing his name to Rufus, claims to have made major efforts to reach out to minorities throughout the state.
“I’m well aware that I may have inadvertently offended colored people with what many construed as insensitive remarks,” said a somewhat contrite and forthright Allen. “Which is one big reason why I now referred to them as colored instead of negro which some of my friends at my whites-only country club in McLean, Virginia say may be construed as insensitive and old-fashioned,” Allen added. “So no more negro,” quipped Allen. “If using colored to describe them is more hip, well that’s what I want….to be more hip. And I always heard that a lot of them are named Rufus which is why I chose that name.”
“Don’t forget about the fried chicken and watermelon,” reminded George’s…err, Rufus’ oldest friend, David Duke.
“That’s right. I understand that they like that sort of food,” said Allen. “So, believe me….there will be lots of fried chicken, watermelon, and Cadillacs at all of our Klan…er…campaign rallies this upcoming election.”
“What about “macaca”? I reminded Allen.
“Macaca is DEAD ! And if if I ever hear you say that word around me again I’ll rip your tongue out of your throat,” said an obviously agitated Allen.
“Whatever you say,” Senator.
“Hey, one more thing, ” said Allen. “What do you think of this afro wig I plan to wear at the rallies?”