2011 promises to be a fine year…with a number of certainties or near-certainties, to include…
…Senate Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell, a woman trapped in a man’s body for his entire adult life will use campaign funds to finally realize his sex change….becoming “Midge” McConnell…
…Eric Cantor ditches his wife of a number of years to say “I do” to his true love, Kevin Federline (whom he met at a Britney Spears concert in D.C. two years ago)…
Cantor demonstrates what he wants out of life
Kevin, since leaving Britney, has put on the fat that Eric loves
…Clarence Thomas and Michael Steele revive the roles of the famous 50′s comic duo of Amos and Andy as they bring the these lovable characters to the big screen. Here’s a clip from the new show with Thomas playing the fat guy and Steele playing the skinny, weasely guy:
…concurrently, Jim DeMint will realize HIS lifelong dream by playing his boyhood idol, Al Jolson, in the Columbia, South Carolina theater production of “The Good Ol’ Days….When Negros Knew Their Place, and We Knew Ours.”
DeMint in "black face" with Al Jolson on the right
…Jon Kyl and Jeff Sessions will have butt sex…..again (nothing new here except for the fact that they move their “action” to Sessions Senate office).
"Will you wear the thong I gave you tonight, for me?"
…through with politics (or politics through with her), Christine O’Donnell’s ass will become as big as a barn as she won’t be able to stop eating in 2011.
:
Favorite foods:
this.....and....
...that
…new Tea Party members of Congress will get busted for organizing pee parties (previously known as “golden showers”) and attempt to justify their actions by claiming to be “pissed off” at politics as usual…
"Ah hereby offer mah support fo the Pee Par...err, ah mean, TEA PARTY!"
…in death, Ronald Reagan will continue to make more of a post-Presidential difference than in life…
…after a grueling election loss in Nevada, Sharron Angle will recharge her batteries with a six-week vacation to her native Uranus….
Better to have Sharron in Uranus than my anus
…Republican Mike Pence will be made an honorary Brownie Scout for all of his behind-the-scenes work with little girls (he will also be arrested for all of his “behind the scenes” work with little girls)….
…Glenn Beck will have penis enlargement surgery to increase his size from two to three inches…
…Disgraced Senator Larry Craig will be back in the public eye with a new singing trio known as the “Smoking Poles” that includes Lindsey Graham and Mark Foley. Craig will sing baritone and play the skin flute, Graham will play the gristle whistle, while Foley will go solo on the schlong dong. The trio already has a hit record on Capitol Hill Records, “Bend Over Rover…and let Boner Come Over”…dedicated to John Boehner…
…and speaking of the new Speaker, in an effort to prevent a law from passing that will prevent millions of poor children in America from going hungry and dying of malnutrition, Boehner will carry out the first-ever “crying” filibuster and plans to cry for a straight 16 hours…
…word will get out that Texas Governor Rick Perry wears women’s lingerie…which somehow makes him even MORE popular in Texas…
Underneath that manly man are some of Victoria's best Secrets
…Haley Barbour will admit to the worst kept secret in recent history…that he is Grand Dragon of a resurgent KKK…
...uh, make that the Grand "DRAGON"
The worst things to ever have been introduced in America: 1.) New Coke, 2.) AIDS, 3.) Sarah Palin, and 4.) Christianity....not in that particular order (3 of 4 are still with us and 3 of 4 are a cancer)
…and Sarah Palin will continue to prosper thanks to her proud citizenship of the dumbest industrialized nation on earth…
Your predictions?
…
Hahahahahahahahahahhahaha…
“in death, Ronald Reagan will continue to make more of a post-Presidential difference than in life”
That’s so true. The deader he gets the better he was. Some time in the next decade he’ll become a god.
Happy 2011, Southpaw! Here’s my prediction for the New Year:
LOL ! Happy NY good buddy
My prediction for 2011? Teabaggers will attempt to impeach President Obama, VP Biden, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. They will fail trying to impeach, but will give Mitchie and Tang headaches.
…and more clicks via provoking “headlines” for that Greek woman’s blog-site.
who?
hehehe..
exactly, BF, ‘provoking’ but not ‘thought provoking’ headlines.
My predictions for 2011:
Foot-in-mouth disease will reach epidemic-levels in the House of Representatives.
Rand Paul will hilariously implode on the Senate floor.
Michelle Bachmann will have a book ghost-written. It will heavily plagiarize “Mein Kampf”.
Sarah Palin and the Octomom will do a porn-flick together.
Christine O’Donnell’s skin will turn green a-la Elphaba.
Arizona Staatführer Jan Brewer will admit she was actually born in Mexico and “crossed the border” as a yong girl, sending shock-waves throughout Maricopa County.
To elaborate further on one of Lefty’s predictions, Midge McConnell will do a spread for Hustler magazine (after the operation, of course).
—and, maybe not so far-fetched as the above…
The Huffington Post will enact drastic reforms on its user “badge” program, including severe restriction (if not the outright elimination) of the “community moderator badge” due to suspected abuses of that privilege by certain users.
Wow. I’ve no question all will come true.
Thanks, buddy! It goes without saying the rogue-deletions continue over there, it’s disgusting!
I have to say that I agree with ALL of the predictions I have seen, but yours is so very close to mine BF!!
Well done.
Thank you, Kala. Always good seeing you again.
Bass,
I do believe all of your predictions will come to pass. I believe that Mike Pence is also going to throw his hat in the ring as the “reasonable” alternative to the Rethuggery candidates and that Snowbilly Grifter will give them a run for their money – and lose.
Pence just seems to “pop up” too often and he quit his leadership post in the House – either that or he is going to run for governor of Indiana.
Boner and Company are going to have this country infuriated by June and there will still be NO JOBS and they still will not care about the American people and their plight….while still trying to blame Obama….which will not work this round.
Issa is not going to get far in his witch hunts, nobody wants that again. If the Democrats do anything about Issa, all they need to do is bring up his background of car theft and arson and pound at it – he is such a louse.
Just looking at the lack of plans by the Rethugs for the 212th, if we can survive two years, they will be gone and the Teabaggers with them and perhaps we can finally make some PROGRESS.
My wishes and hopes for the New Year, anyway.
Well said, Eykis. It’s up to us to make 2011 as good a year as we can make it. Hope yours will be well!
and with Darrel Issa’s track record we know he’ll start up investigations but won’t follow through. He’s there on behalf of the mortgage and banking industries; his job is to generate as much smoke with mirrors as possible while big business rips us off.
“Arizona Staatführer ?”
Very similar to Arianna Stassinopoulos
HHmmmmmmmm…
Ahhhhhh….!
Can I get a little octopus?
I predict the All Blacks will win the World Cup!
Go New Zealand!
Ahhhhh. Very funny, southpaw! Now a prediction for you
Your New Year will be happier if, for your Valentine’s Day celebration with kj, you:
1) arrive with flowers (grocery store flowers are preferable to florist flowers; you get extra points if you have found or have even looked for lilies);
2) are extra careful not to terrify kj while driving;
3) plan a dinner and a movie or a movie and a dinner (fancy dining and dressing up are not desired but a sit-down meal is more romantic than ordering at a counter);
4) unless kj gives you her blessing, put away the computer until after she falls asleep.
No other gifts other than the heart-throbbing gift of yourself are expected or necessary
I’ll do all of those things and more…and deal on the computer
kj says, kiss kiss kiss.
And that, according to Kala, is what you call a “bridge signal.”
LOL !!!!
Well done
My demands for Valentine’s Day are
Not just flowers, but chocolate.
And not just chocolate, but dark chocolate.
And not just dark chocolate, but the darkestof dark chocolates.
And not just a sit-down dinner, but a sit-down dinner in an establishment in which there is NO hockey on a bigscreen TV ANYWHERE!
And not just a movie, but a movie in which NOTHING blows up!
☺
LOL!!! I actually like explosion movies. No sad endings for me, though.
And I am with you on the no hockey rule. In fact, no television, period.
I actually have a rule that he can only watch two football games a week and two hockey games a week. But, he tries to cheat by turning on a game, then if the game is boring,he’ll leave it on and go outside to do yardwork or play with the whelp … then he’ll claim that doesn’t count as one of the two games!
LOL!!!! If I took away Southpaw’s football, I would be chopping off his manhood.
The funny thing is, he’s a little ADD (I think I mentioned his concussions), so he really will get bored if it’s not a good game.
Yikes KJ!
That was NOT discussed in training your men!
Funny. What I meant was that football is not one of the things I will be able to train out of Southpaw. I decided to train myself to like football instead.
Go Tigers!!!!!!
The only thing I know for sure is that I’ll be reading SouthpawBeagleBlog in 2011!
Happy new year to everyone–can’t wait for hubby and the kiddo to get back to work and school tomorrow so I can have my computer time back!!
…and we’re just glad you’ll be with us my friend.
Seconded, Babu!
Oh, my goodness! Another one hit out of the park.
My prediction: Another Palin will have another child out of wedlock.
ElmTree will be a junior in high school after all. She can’t let her older sister rake in all the grift.
Yes, although I am trying hard to mete out my praise to Southpaw, I have to admit, this one is a grand slam.
Good start for the new year beagle and I believe coming soon, working Americans of the lower class will be asked to take wage cuts so GM, G E , Face book , and all large corporations can take full advantage of Profits to line there pockets.Retired folks will be asked to give up their pensions so the wealthy can afford the high cost of fuel that could be a hardship trying to fill their jets and yachts and 40 foot RV S. Children will be asked to go hungrey just 3 days a week so the power hogs can keep their tax cuts. Americans of the lower class will be praised for sucking it up and be happy for working for less and glad not to have the burden of handling as much money as they are use to . 2012 will bring more boogie men then we have ever seen . I see less regulations on big business and more restrictions on American freedoms . I see Chris Christie gaining another 200 pounds .I see all the cry babies laughing as they get more money and power.I see America get set back another 10 years while the rest of the world moves forward. I see the repukes wanting to start a war with anyone that looks weak or vulnerable ( The year of the Bullies ) and theres money to be made for a select few . Democrats sell bread the Pukes sell bullets dems want to feed and care for the health of all Americans, REPUKES want death money and power a world of just themselves . Haley the Hog leading the whole fucking klan what a sick world that will be . SNL will have the best material to work from this year.Stay on the heels of these sorry pieces of garbage mans best friend. Thanks for letting me speak no mater how poorly written its all freedom bow wow my friend.
Not poorly written, junebug. I especially like it when you write without capitalization. You are the e.e. cummings of SPB.
nothing you ever write is poorly written….brilliantly written, yes
I think you really nailed it with this great post, June! SNL will just have to mimic the rethug baggers heading for the 112th; we’re in for a wild ride…
Is January 3d too early to place my vote on the winner of the Hatemas 2011 competition? After his statements today that the Constitution does not prohibit discrimination against women, I predict Assholio Scalia will be the winner.
His statements will only become more outrageous as the year progresses.
“Assholio”…LOL !!!
…but to answer your question, no, it’s never too early to start….and the earlier you begin, the better chance you have of winning 2011 competition.
Assholio, btw, came precariously close to winning in 2010
I’ve had a scathingly brilliant idea, though. Photoshop the face of Scalia onto Beavis doing his “Great Cornholio” routine.
“I am the Great Assholio! I need legal briefs for my Bunghole”
http://s.fatwallet.com/static/attachments/46075_cornholio1115575.jpg
Roberts can be Butthole
“Heh..Heh.. You said briefs.”
Yes, Scalia the originalist does not think the Fourteenth Amendment’s Equal Protection Clause protects women because when it was enacted, its purpose was the protection of former slaves. HOWEVER, the grotesque, corpulent twist ruled in Bush v. Gore that the Fourteenth Amendment should be extended to election recount processes in various Florida counties–something wholly outside the Fourteenth Amendment’s original ken.
Scalia did not believe when he decided Bush v. Gore that the Fourteenth Amendment applied, which is why the Court ruled (in a chicken sh*t per curiam opinion) that it could not be used as precedent. Bush v. Gore was not a judicial decision. It was a coup d’etat and Scalia just proved it once again.
Scalia is a corrupt clown, a villainous Scaramouche. His chicanery makes him more responsible than the simpleton Bush for all the misery that Bush unleashed in the world.
Interesting that the “originalist” is using his interpretation of the intent of Congress. He used to claim to be a “strict constructionist.”
A “strict constructionist” would go by the actual language of the Amendment. Language which says “persons,” not “black male former slaves.”
He is a strict constructionist for interpreting statutes and an originalist for interpreting the Constitution–except when he is not.
You know that has to be confusing to Thomas. Not knowing in advance whether to be a strict constructionist lapdog or an originalist lapdog. Perhaps that is why Thomas never asks questions during oral. Doesn’t know whether to ask originalist or strict constructionist themed questions…
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Time for someone to step up and put the pillow over Antonin’s face in his sleep.
Perhaps if we chipped in and bought an insurance policy, naming his wife as beneficiary…Could probably get a tax deduction. Two birds as it were.
good idea….let’s make it happen
That per curiam decision exposes Scalia for the fraud he is. Twelfth Amendment provides, in specific language, a means of deciding contested Presidential Elections.
“The person having the greatest Number of votes for President, shall be the President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of Electors appointed; and if no person have such majority, then from the persons having the highest numbers not exceeding three on the list of those voted for as President, the House of Representatives shall choose immediately, by ballot, the President.”
It was the next passage that worried Scalia:
“But in choosing the President, the votes shall be taken by states, the representation from each state having one vote; a quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two-thirds of the states, and a majority of all the states shall be necessary to a choice.”
The Republicans may have controlled a majority of the House in 2001, but they didn’t control a majority of states if a 1 state 1 vote procedure was used
An originalist strict constructionist wouldn’t have even voted to give cert.
I was at a loss as to what disturbed me more, the decision or the cowardly posture that it wouldn’t become precedent. American law is built upon that, unlike European civil law which classifies new crimes into the appropriate civil code. One thing you can say about the American government — it isn’t subtle. That someone like Scaly or Mormon Boy could sit on the Court is an indictment…
Exactly right about the American (and English) common-law tradition. A judicial opinion is judicial in character within the
Anglo-American system because it carries precedential weight. There are rules in place governing the publication of a decision, which gives the decision precedential value. The only decisions that are allowed to be unpublished in every jurisdiction where I have had experience are those decisions that enunciate no new principles of law. I have never heard of a case of first impression that was unpublished. My guess is that it had never happened at the Supreme Court level in the entire history of the Court. To publish a decision and declare it has no weight–which is the equivalent of non-publication–is something quite aberrant.
When Todd Palin gets busted wil Sarah stand on the side lines and claim she didn’t know or will she finally get her divorce or will she throw away the key herself? Or will they finally have enought to put them both away?
Hopefully “all of the above” my friend