From the folks who bring you SPB, we would like to wish all of our wonderful friends, who bring such thoughtful joy to these pages, the happiest and most prosperous of New Year’s. Most of all, we wish you peace throughout 2011.
Peace be with you my friends….
….coming attractions: My Predictions for 2011…..and it ain’t pretty.
Posted in SouthPaw's Slant
By hippie4ever
A young child plays with a toy handgun in his front yard; a teenager hangs out near home; a 35 year old man sits on his porch steps; a 22 year old father is arrested on New Years Eve for public intoxication. Besides being American citizens what do these people have in common? They were all unarmed civilians who were executed in cold blood by the police.
Jolly coppers on parade
Police departments nationwide resist efforts to document civilian shootings, concerned they will later be read by the fifth estate or lawyers hired by grieving families. While statistics are scarce, http://www.copwatch.org has created an Internet site to document police brutality. The ACLU has also been compiling statistics and it appears about 25 percent of all police shootings involve “unarmed suspects,” a euphemism for executions.
While nonwhite Americans are many times more likely to be assaulted by police, don’t assume being white makes you safe. Douglas Zerby of Long Beach, California, had been sitting on his back porch when a neighbor called 911 to report Zerby carrying a handgun in public. The caller said he didn’t know the make of gun and that it hadn’t been fired. In truth Doug Zerby was holding a garden hose nozzle in his hands as police arrived and without any verbal warning, promptly executed him. Six handgun rounds were fired as well as several shotgun blasts, and according to some reports Zerby was shot 27 times. He was white with blond hair and lived in an ordinary middle class neighborhood. He was married with a young son, had had too much to drink and was having a bad day before police arrived…
The Zerbys
Coast-to-coast, from large urban areas to mid-sized towns, more and more ordinary people are facing lethal force from police who shoot first and ask questions later. While some local activists call for community review boards, this has not been a panacea for protecting the public. Liberal San Francisco has a civilian review board but it has not been successful in preventing police brutality or homicide. San Francisco police continue to shoot unarmed civilians in nonlethal situations while their corrupt civilian review board twiddles its thumbs and does nothing, unless you count its obstruction of documentation. Another problem with such review boards is they must be funded and tax monies are scarce, and those who serve are often opportunists, not activists.
There are many reasons for police violence; to be fair many Americans are themselves violent or impaired and fail to communicate well with officers, leaving police to determine the level of threat. Tragically, police training rarely deals with common situations and real life is often more complicated than a classroom scenario. Training is expensive and police departments prefer to spend their funds on hardware — new guns, surveillance cameras, computer programs, new autos — all the fun, sexy stuff they love; problem is, what they want isn’t what they necessarily need.
Johannes Mehserle
If one believes Johannes Mehserle, the BART transit cop who shot unarmed and restrained Oscar Grant to death on December 31, 2008, he didn’t know his taser from his handgun. Few in the Oakland community believe this for several reasons, including the very long history of police violence directed primarily at Oakland’s African-American community. Police are rightfully regarded by many as the enemy, and it doesn’t help that many within Oakland P.D. look like skinheads and hold racist views. People once called San Francisco the city of love but nobody ever said that about Oakland.
Besides being racist, is it possible that Mehserle was also a bumbling, badly-trained cop? Oscar clearly was not the only intoxicated celebrant on New Year’s Eve, nor was he the worst behaved. According to some witnesses he was already handcuffed, according to others he wasn’t but lay face down with his hands held firmly behind his back. Both accounts prove Mr. Grant was both prone and under police restraint at the time of his execution.
Mr. Mehserle had little reason to feel threatened; he was larger than Oscar Grant, not intoxicated and about the same age. There were several other officers at the scene, and while a bit rowdy and boozy, the scene at the Fruitvale Station was not unusual for New Years Eve. Meserle was fearful despite having force and weaponry on his side: cowards like him must not be allowed to police anyone, anywhere; yet there he was, packing heat and destroying lives.
Late Oscar Grant with daughter
Oscar Grant left behind a 4 year old daughter, a wife, a mother and an uncle; all are struggling to carry on after police violence ended his life and shattered theirs. This was an outrage against not only the African-American community of Oakland, but against us all. Police ran roughshod in Nazi Germany as they do today in the United States, but not in the free world. It is impossible to say that we live in a democratic, federalist republic when the police are out of control and we are their targets.
Where do urban police generally live? Outside the cities in a few select suburbs where they receive incentives to buy houses and raise families. Unlike America’s cities, these “police friendly” communities are predominantly white, middle class, and republican with easy donut access.
Health food restaurant in police suburb
Living in such places while working the sometimes violent streets of the cities increases the disconnect many officers feel towards those they purportedly serve and protect.
Fortunately there is a solution and its name is Cop Watch. Formed in 1990 in the city of Berkeley, California, this grassroots group teaches citizens how to safely monitor the actions of the police. Local law enforcement are supposed to be under local control as public servants, and our right of assembly is guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution; we the people have a responsibility to stand up for our rights.
Don't let this happen to you. Protect your rights!
If we act like cowards and victims ourselves we will be treated as such: pushed around, abused, manipulated, even shot to death by poorly-trained, cowardly cops.
Volunteers patrol their neighborhoods where police are active, wearing identifying badges and holding clipboards as they stand witness during police encounters. The idea isn’t to interfere with police but to observe their actions. Cop Watch has gone national and hopefully viral as police violence against unarmed citizens continues to escalate.
Professional police officers (yes, Virginia, there are a few good cops) become used to Cop Watch volunteers and shout out their badge numbers so they can be written into the record; corrupt cops must be identified by eye witnesses. If police are “just doing their job” as they maintain, what harm can civilian oversight bring? Our presence as witnesses can be an incentive for police to follow the rules and respect our constitutional rights, and it can save lives in the communities in which they serve. No thug likes his handiwork watched and documented by others, yet no professional should mind.
Busted: a Citizen’s Guide to Surviving Police Encounters by Flex Your Rights, is a useful video produced with the guidance of civil rights advocates, including members of the ACLU. The video (accessible by clicking on Busted, above) explains in detail what your rights are during police encounters. Cops will often trick people into giving up their constitutional rights and our despicable Supreme Court has naturally allowed this travesty of justice. Don’t be a fool — too many have been arrested, tried and convicted because they inadvertently gave police permission to search their homes, cars or persons. Their lives were ruined because they cooperated with law enforcement against their own best interests. Know your rights! This is another vital life skill never taught in the public school system but one you need to know no matter how law abiding you may be.
If nothing else, memorize saying, “OFFICER, I DO NOT CONSENT TO ANY SEARCHES.” This phrase may well save you from arrest, lock-up and expensive legal fees. They could easily be the most important words you ever utter. Remember, too, that not every question asked by the police need be answered by you.
I’ll readily admit to not being a fan of the police, having been assaulted and nearly shot in 1980, also in broad daylight and without probable cause; but every society has law enforcement and they can play a positive role in the community. Let’s face it, there are some bad people out there people need protection from.
In many cities and towns across the United States, however, innocent civilians are being terrorized by rogue cops who want to shoot first and ask questions later. Our police are unusual in carrying lethal firepower as a matter of course but then again, we’re a society immersed in guns and violence. Sometimes American cops strike out from fear, sometimes in anger, and many are influenced by racism or vengeance. It is illegal and intolerable that the police have gotten away with their rampant corruption, criminal behavior, and wanton violence for so long. Make your community and our society a better, safer place where justice is the rule, not the exception. Consider volunteering at your local Cop Watch, or starting one in your community. At the very least, if you see a police stop, stay and observe their actions and take down numbers.
Do not let the police intimidate you — you have the right to be a witness whether they like it or not. Oscar, Doug, and thousands of others would thank you if they only could.
Consider, too, whether a situation really warrants a 911 call — the police rarely make things better and assuming their “best intentions” has landed many inside a jail cell or even the county morgue.
Remember, the law as written is on our side and the police only violate it because we let them in our astonishing apathy. We must police the police or live in a police state. The choice is clearly ours to make and it is not too late to correct this long-standing injustice.
Throughout this joyous holiday season we’ve celebrated together in the spirit of hate with the 12 days of Hatemas featuring the most hated people in America (according to a worldwide poll taken by southpaw staff members and polling experts) in 12 separate installments. This wonderful hatefest, in the spirit of the pure joy of hate during these festive times, has been based on the most influential, impacting, dangerous, loud-mouth, ugly, obstructive, mean-spirited, racist, piece-of-shit motherfuckers throughout the year 2010. I trust you’ve all had a wonderful hate-filled yuletide full of the spirit of hate….and are now ready to ring in 2011 with hate and contempt for those worthy of our hate and scorn.
We’ve lived hate together these past few weeks my friends as you have patiently awaited the highest pinnacle of hate. Your wait is over….your patience rewarded….for we have arrived at #1……and he truly stands alone:
#1 in “The 12 Days of Hatemas:
May I present to you the most dangerous, odious, despicable person in America.
Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States…..John Roberts
A life of accomplishment with practically all of it flying under the radar… precisely the way the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court would have it. Never a flashy guy…just a guy with a firm hand-shake, a full head of hair….a “Pepsodent smile” with a perfect set of teeth….”Mr. Aw Shucks,” the star QB of the high school football team who, between taking his team to the championship game, a perfect 4.0 GPA, and serving as President of his senior class, somehow finds time to help tutor under-achieving grade-schoolers and, through his church group, helps serve meals to the homeless.
Crab legs, sweets, and two young hunks at his beck and call is not enough for young Roberts….he wants the WORLD !
But like “Dexter,” behind that winsome smile there is a dark heart….pure evil dished up by a guy voted by everyone (even Joe Biden) to be the mostly likely to succeed in everything. For Roberts, let others get the accolades, kudos, credit, and publicity. Let Stephen Breyer pimp his book on Larry King. Justice John Roberts is content working behind the scenes, “behind the camera,” as it were….dismantling America piece by piece, thread by thread, law by law and slowly but surely turning America into what he dreams it to be: a Roman Catholic theocracy. For deep inside this smiling, perfect caricature of a “Ken Doll” whom everyone would not only like, but LOVE, to have a beer with….is the guy who is orchestrating our regression to the stone age and who has lived his life for this moment…..the moment known as Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission.
Evil lurks inside
His greatest victory? Clearly. It is his Sistine Chapel….essentially the Roe v. Wade of the 21st century, only the roles are reversed. Conservatives who bashed liberal judges for “legislating from the bench” and disrespecting precedent are now exposed as unprincipled posers.
…and how soon we forget:
At his confirmation hearings, John Roberts said, “Judges are like umpires. Umpires don’t make the rules; they apply them.” He repeated his belief in judicial restraint and the importance of precedent. So what did his court do? It gutted more than a century of law that barred direct corporate expenditures on behalf of politicians.
Citizens v. United represents the beginning of the end…. the greatest accumulation of corporate power since the age of the robber barons. It’s like gerrymandering but instead of dividing states up into sections as unscrupulous politicians see fit, it’s corporate America sectioning the country up in great swaths that gives the saying “survival of the fittest” all new meaning. I’m not sure if people can even begin to conceptualize the destruction to our political system that will be realized thanks to Citizens United. It is the beginning of the end of what was left of our democratic process. If you think your vote meant nothing before, now try it. If you think your voice/vote doesn’t count now, wait until Citizens United begins to REALLY get into full gear. Citizens United is John Roberts dream come true because, almost overnight, it swings all future election results to the right since the right and corporate interests are synonymous. And with an unstoppable flow of money from the right influencing all future elections, it’s only a matter of time before they begin to take over all sectors of Judicial and Legislative Branches and begin to slowly and systematically remove the things they so covet–removing what basically consists of our last remaining rights as citizens starting with the freedom to choose. Citizens United sets the stage for the dream that John Roberts has always had. His foot soldiers, Scalia, Alito, Thomas, and to some extent Kennedy, are more than willing to buy into his vision. The dismantling of Roe v. Wade will be only one salvo. There will be many others to precede and/or to follow it as we slowly watch the dismantling of America as we knew it….whatever that was. And we have no choice but to sit back and watch it all go down because with Citizens United, corporate interests now own our electoral process lock, stock, and barrel. This was the dream of Antonin Scalia as well. But he always knew that he was too much of an Italian thug to pull it off which is why he never cared much about being Chief Justice. Let the frat boy take care of it and be the front guy for all that we want done. If all it takes to get what we want is a sales job by a matinée idol with a perfect set of teeth, so be it.
Writing at Slate, legal commentator Dahlia Lithwick and New York University law professor Barry Friedman argue that “under the stewardship of its boyish chief justice, John Roberts, the [Supreme Court] has taken the law for a sharp turn to the ideological right, while at the same time masterfully concealing it.” Their article is titled “Watch as We Make This Law Disappear,” and Lithwick and Friedman portray Justice Roberts as the master illusionist that he is:
How does the chief justice work to maintain the illusion that political ideology is not present on the Supreme Court while at the same time taking sharp steps to the right? He uses the illusionist’s most famous trick of all: sawing the lady in half right before the audience’s eyes. The Roberts court does some of its boldest work in cases where the ideological left splits internally, allowing the right to say that the issue is not ideological at all. . . .This trick works just as well whether the conservative justices are splitting apart left-wing interest groups or their own colleagues on the left side of the court. In another of the decisions whittling Miranda away, Florida v. Powell, Roberts shrewdly gave the nod to liberal justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to write the court’s decision, which cut back on what rights the suspect must be read. In this term’s Holder v. Humanitarian Law Project, the court split 6-3 by nabbing the only veteran on the left, Stevens, for a ruling upholding the statute banning “personnel” and “training” support for organizations designated as foreign terrorist organizations, even if all the support really was humanitarian.
So, not only does Roberts possess manipulative good looks and charm, it appears he is a brilliant manipulator of his own Supreme Court peers….perhaps the GREATEST manipulator ever to serve as Chief Justice.
Sure, honorable mention for most hateful and hated in America should certainly go to the likes of people like Roger Ailes, Fox News chief who has been around spinning misinformation and propaganda and successfully selling it to the American sheeple since christ was a corporal…or the real merchant of right-wing hate, media mogul and Fox Network owner, Rupert Murdock, both of whom many of SPB readers have suggested should be #1 on anyone’s hate list. But these two, and all other powerful corporate moguls in America who so influence our process, are simply benefactors who are further empowered by John Roberts.
“Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses…..and I shall fuck them as sure as my teeth are white.”
Not one predisposed to conspiracy theories or to believe in such things, I do indeed believe, and have always believed, that it is our Supreme Court that controls our destiny. Ronald Reagan began the process of manipulating America into believing that so long as we had a home, a two-car garage, a near-by shopping mall, and a lily-white suburb in which to put it all in, we could forgot about all that annoying government that didn’t need to be around to begin with. George W. Bush picked up where Reagan left off and finished the job by giving us John Roberts who will most certainly see fit to continue “finishing the job” until America is only survived by the fittest…and, thus, he is chosen as the illustrious #1 in the “12 Days of Hatemas.”
P.S. May 2011 bring you peace, prosperity, and the spirit of hate for those who truly deserve it
Lord, are we almost there?
Twas the night before Hatemas when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Hateholas soon would be there.
Seasons Greetings fellow merchants of disdain, contempt, and scorn for the American scum of the earth !! Yuletides of hate reach out and pull on my heartstrings causing my heart to burst with the joy and the spirit of hate. Like Jolly Saint Nick, let me spread gifts of hate throughout the lands….
…which brings us to #2…(yes, another tie….so many to hate, so little time): Newt Gingrich, Ken Cuccinelli, Antonin Scalia.
If there’s a Hell, there’s a special place in it for him
Newt Gingrich, Former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives and overall dirtbag:
He is, was, and always will be the sleaziest politician, and perhaps human being, in American modern times. How he has been allowed to morph into a “Sunday morning talk-show” pundit who is paid any regard at all much less a lot of it is one America’s great mysteries. He would glad-hand and/or stab anyone in the back to get ahead. He is also one of the world’s greatest hypocrites on both family values and serving one’s country. As America’s #1 chickenhawk, Dick Cheney notwithstanding, he has always supported war and spilling others blood in foreign lands yet dodged the draft during Vietnam. He’s one of the most disgusting serial adulterers and abusers of women in the history of politics yet went after Bill Clinton like a moralistic banshee during the sordid and pointless trials of Monica Lewinsky. He’s a deadbeat dad and one of our greatest whores to corporate campaign contributions. If there will be a single greatest beneficiary of the heinous Supreme Court decision, “Citizens United,” it shall be Newt Gingrich. He is emblematic of all that is wrong with America…particularly in its most recent history. And as long as he is around what’s left of our sacred rights and civil liberties are in absolute jeopardy. I would write more, but you get the drift….and thinking of Newt Gingrich makes me physically ill.
Wide-eyed and bushy-tailed….and an aspiring leader of a modern-day Gestapo
Ken Cuccinelli, Attorney General of Virginia:
Some in America have been on Joe McCarthy watch since, well, Joe McCarthy wondering when the next one would come around to slime us. It nearly became Ken Starr…..but he was too much of a pussy to have “gone the distance” despite his best (pussy) efforts. Cuccinelli, on the other hand, is anything but a pussy. No, this guy is a first-class motherfucker to the nth degree. So, I think the second coming of Joe McCarthy has landed and he just happens to be the Attorney General of Virginia, Ken Cuccinelli.
Cuccinelli has only been in office since January, but he’s already demonstrated that Virginians accidentally elected a crazy person. First, it was routine gay-hating. Now it’s Birtherism and grand paranoia. I mean, Virginia is hardly a blue state (despite barely going Obama’s way in ’08). But the Old Dominion is hardly South Carolina, Alabama, or Texas either…..and Cuccinelli is most DEFINITELY South Carolina material. He fact, he may be the only guy who is actually right of Jim DeMint (a hard thing to be, indeed, since the next thing right of Jim DeMint is widely considered to be Adolf Hitler). Cuccinelli is, without question (and please read my lips), WITHOUT QUESTION the up and coming most dangerous man in America…..and so much so, I nearly made him #1. You know how it seems that every generation some fucking nutbag crusader (usually from the south), wanting to make a name for him or herself, seems to come out of nowhere to take on some moralistic cause dragging the rest of America with him or her? Remember in the 70′s when a crusading prosecutor from Memphis named Larry Parrish went after the “hardcore” movie Deep Throat” (now considered tame by comparison with today’s “skin flicks”) with such a vengeance, one would have thought that Deep Throat was the most egregious violation of moral sanctity in human history instead of a silly and cheaply-made now considered “soft core” movie with as little artistic value as its portrayal of an “artist” who could supposedly give the world’s perfect blow job (not to give anything away here, but she had a clitoris in her throat….as legend would have it…instead of, err, where it was supposed to be). Long story short, Parrish was relentless in his crusading prosecution of anyone and everyone who had ever had a hand in this movie. He ruined the fledgling “career” of “Harry Reems driving the guy out of the business and into the poor house in his efforts to send him to prison. Parrish became the quintessential poster child for frivolous crusades….but for certain, he had Christian America behind him every step of the way.
Cuccinelli is Parrish on a quadruple dose of steroids. Since he took office in January 2010 his primary mission has been to do everything in his power to dismantle the President’s new health care reform. He has, on behalf of the state of Virginia (much to the chagrin of many of its residents to include yours truly), sued the Federal Government to stop it. Eventually it WILL wind up in the Supreme Court….and we all know how THAT’S going to turn out. Why? You would never get him to admit it but Ken just has a problem with the fact that limited health care reform that, at the very least, is marginally better than what we have now, was the product of a black man. Why? Because Virginia, my friends, has a crazed birther racist as its A.G. Besides being a birther, he believes Global Warming is a myth and is viscerally against any environmental efforts in this or any other country.
On July 14, 2010, Cuccinelli joined eight other states in filing an amicus brief opposing the federal government’s lawsuit challenging an Arizona immigration enforcement statute. On August 2, 2010, Cuccinelli issued a legal opinion authorizing law enforcement officials to investigate the immigration status of anyone that they have stopped.
On March 4, 2010, barely two months into his office as state A.G., Cuccinelli issued a letter to Virginia’s public colleges and universities that said, in part, “It is my advice that the law and public policy of the Commonwealth of Virginia prohibit a college or university from including ‘sexual orientation,’ ‘gender identity,’ ‘gender expression,’ or like classification as a protected class within its non-discrimination policy absent specific authorization from the General Assembly.”
On February 2010, Cuccinelli sought federal judicial review of the EPA’s ruling that greenhouse gases harm human beings by causing global warming. His press statement explained, “We cannot allow unelected bureaucrats with political agendas to use falsified data to regulate American industry and drive our economy into the ground.”
The business end of a buggy whip awaits ye backside oh crazed one
Ken Cuccinelli is close to being the most dangerous man in America. He may be under the radar now, but before long people from coast to coast will have heard of him….and not in a good way. The people of my state elected him….and that’s something I and many others have to live with. Let’s just hope that we collectively find our way before we elect him as Governor when he decides to run in 2013. Otherwise, god have mercy on our souls.
Oh for the want of an Italian meatball that goes down the wrong way and just can’t be dislodged….
Supreme Court “Justice” Antonin Scalia:
Last but certainly not least. Now the longest-serving justice on the Court (hard to believe huh?), Scalia is the Senior Associate Justice. Appointed to the Court by Ronald Reagan in 1986, Scalia has been described as the intellectual anchor of the Court’s conservative wing. And he is evil incarnate.
Scalia is considered the Court’s leading proponent of “originalism.” This is a legal philosophy whereby the proponent attempts to locate the most archaic elements of the founding fathers’ political views, magnify them, and disingenuously use them as a pretext for perpetuating views that invariably set our country back a generation if not further in an effort to appease his crazed, Roman Catholic ideology. The phrase “I am an originalist,” is synonymous with “I am a racist, but I’m too much of a pussy to just come out and say it because I went to college.”
Scalia and other “originalists” are terrified by the idea of change. They are especially horrified by the realization that each successive generation hates blacks and gay people less and less. Realizing the consequences of this, they have devised a legal philosophy to enshrine their bigotry into law so it can live on even after the “originalists” have gone. And he and his Supreme Court posse will do everything to set America back to the days that fit their personal ideology…nothing more, nothing less. And since America allowed them to be placed on our nation’s highest court to begin with, and since he and they shall be around for a long, long time, the rest of us common Americans are just along for the ride. “Citizens United” simply represents the first volley. There’s more where that came from…..much, much more I’m afraid. And America will blissfully go on with life none the wiser …so long as there’s a Wal-Mart around every corner. Fiddlin’ while Rome burns indeed.
….as dangerous and hated as Gingrich, Cuccinelli, and Scalia are, there is but one more even more dangerous….and he/she/it shall be # 1….of “The 12 Days of Hatemas.”
…can you stand the tension?
Seasons Greetings fellow merchants of disdain, contempt, and scorn for the American scum of the earth !! Yuletides of hate reach out and pull on my heartstrings causing my heart to burst with the joy and the spirit of hate. Like Jolly Saint Nick, let me spread gifts of hate throughout the lands….
…#3…tie: Dick Army, Ginny Thomas, and brothers, David and Charles Koch…
These four are the life’s blood of all things tea party. Or, if the Tea Party movement in the U.S. were Nicaraguan Contras (aka “Freedom Fighters” as RR liked to call them), then David and Charles Koch would most certainly be Reagan and Armey and Thomas would be Olly North and John Poindexter respectively.
In other words, it makes perfect sense to put these four together for one special day of Hatemas particularly since the Koch brothers are two of the most dangerous people on the planet and would fund death squads to wipe out all ethnic groups and homosexuals if it were politically correct while Armey and Thomas will be delivery messenger boys for whatever needs to be delivered in the name of whoever and whatever they hope will help overthrow the United States and turn power over to a freedom-loving theocracy.
Dick Armey, Chairman of “Freedomworks,” a euphemism for fascism, racism, and xenophobia, is America’s Josef Goebbels who literally hates Obama with such passion, he would fund a clandestine attempt to overthrow him if he could get away with it. For all we know, he’s doing it already. With his tea party movement primarily funded by Charles and David Koch, he’s already operating a mega-funded clandestine movement to overthrow the country. Give such sinister operations a happy name like “Freedomworks” and embroider it with eagles and “don’t tread on me” and it’s an easy sell to most Americans who are too stupid to know that it has zero to do with freedom.
“Extermination camps for homos and spics? Sure! That’s a great idea!! We can use Koch money to fund them. And I’m sure Ginny would love to oversee such an operation.”
Locked at the hip with Armey is Clarence Thomas’ monster wife (truly the evil side of Clarence), Ginny Thomas, who used to work for Armey. Ms. Piggy is a former right-wing political operative for the Heritage Foundation and most recently formed Liberty Central Inc. (another pleasant-sounding euphemism for a fascist group) in order to solicit corporate donations to fund tea party activism based on conservative “core principles.”
Bloated and Bloateder
I equate billionaires and longtime crazed libertarians, Charles and David Koch, who believe in drastically lower personal and corporate taxes, minimal social services for the needy, and much less oversight of industry—especially environmental regulation–to a modern-day version of a combination of Charles Foster Kane (William Randolph Hearst), Howard Hughes, Robert Vesco, and any other unscrupulous and evil American businessmen. With a bottomless pit of money, they are a king’s ransom for such lobbyist whores like Armey who, in turn, funds any and all interests of Ginny.
Hitler and Hitlerer
You can’t get any more anti-American than these aforementioned vermin. Yet, millions of Americans presume they represent real and true freedom in all of its glory:
Wearing a foam rubber liberty crown on your head….now that’s what freedom is all about
God Bless America,
Land that I love.
Stand beside her, and guide her
Thru the night with a light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans, white with foam
God bless America, My home sweet home
Evil as they are, there are at least two more evil than them….#s 2 and 1…..but you’ll have to wait…as we continue with the festive spirit of hate in our “12 Days of Hatemas.”
Goosebumps as we get closer and closer to the elusive #1…
Seasons Greetings fellow merchants of disdain, contempt, and scorn for the American scum of the earth !! Yuletides of hate reach out and pull on my heartstrings causing my heart to burst with the joy and the spirit of hate. Like Jolly Saint Nick, let me spread gifts of hate throughout the lands….
…#4…tie: Mitch McConnell and Sarah Palin
Where do I begin? I knew little about Alaska before John McCain introduced her to us but, based on her alone, I shall be eternally suspicious about what sort of people inhabit this place of natural beauty…much like I am eternally fearful of finding myself on a lonely country road after dark in Mississippi since three young civil rights workers made their last journey in life on such a country road in Mississippi in 1963. Tell me I’m generalizing but, sorry….once something is branded in my psyche, it’s hard to extricate. There’s just something deeply wrong with the majority of people who put someone such as her in a position of power; now I want to know nothing about Alaska. And there’s something deeply wrong with a country (ours) that continues to enable and empower her and reward her with fame and fortune. How can it be that simply by virtue of a crazed, senile, bitter, and nasty old fucker from Arizona plucking empty-headed trailer trash from obscurity, that this empty-headed trailer trash deserves a permanent spot in our vernacular….deserves to be an entry in Wikipedia, deserves 65,000,000,000 hits on Google, deserves to be listened to by one person much less millions? What’s wrong with us? Let me rephrase that….because, for once, I’m not going to throw in with the rest of the sheeple of America. You know why? Because you and I are not one of “them.” We are better….and I’m proud to say that. So let me ask again….what’s wrong with THEM? How have they so regressed in just a few short generations, since the early 1950′s, when Americans allowed themselves to be intoxicated with fear by the maniacal demagoguery of a boozing, drug-addicted, philandering, U.S. Senator named Joe McCarthy who, in a mere two years, turned us into the wide-eyed and squirming neighbors portrayed by Rod Serling in the Twilight Zone Episode, “Monsters on Maple Street”? Somehow, we came to our senses then…..but not before the lives of many thousands of good people were ruined beyond repair. Will we come to our senses now? Well, does the fact that she is still being talked about as a candidate for President of the UNITED STATES (!!!!!!!!) answer your question? What do you think? I’m of the opinion that the malignant cancer in America known as Christianity will never allow “THEM” to come to their senses. The Christianity that has taken over the minds of the soul-less America is like McCarthyism on steroids. It has given us “her”…and “her is them.” And someone just TRY to tell me that Sarah Palin would not be a modern-day Joe McCarthy if given half a chance and I would tell them to stop smoking crack.
As for HIM……don’t be swayed, even for a second, by his southern “courtliness.” For Mitch, much more than Dick, truly IS Darth Vader with a much less ominous mask. His bugged-eyed and chinless bespectacled face makes him look like anything from a professorial type to Heinrich Himmler (if walls had ears, I’m certain Mitch has more often expressed his admiration for good old Heinrich than all the professors in the world…except, perhaps, for the “professor” in “Gilligan’s Island”).
His brazenly-stated goal is to intentionally obstruct the President at every turn, on every issue, without compromise….with the ultimate intent of seeing him fail. How can such ideas and initiatives, which should be more favorably compared to the initiatives that 60′s Russian Premiere, Nikita Khrushchev, had for JFK, be seen by a single American as anything but quintessentially un-American? How can it, I ask? At the very least, Mitch McConnell could be somewhat discreet about his hatred, animosity, and bitterness about the black man as President. But in this era when a narrow-minded, crazed, bigoted white trash woman from Alaska can be empowered to fame and fortune, there is no such thing as discretion…especially when it comes to sanctimonious religiosity. As far as THEY are concerned, they needn’t be discreet about anything. The rest of us have to maintain our decorum and composure. But Sarah Palin and Mitch may say anything they goddamn want…and their stock will just go up…because they are members of the righteous….those that Noah will pluck from down below just before the waters come sweeping across the lands and wash away the rest of us heretics.
But none of that matters. All I know is, their influence continues unabated. And since neither has done a single virtuous thing in their collective lives except divide and conquer (just like good old Joe), I understand America less now than ever. In fact, I don’t even WANT to understand it anymore. The honest-to-god truth? I could give a fuck about it now and forever more. I just get high on the fact that I hate Sarah Palin and Mitch McConnell so much, they would be two of the handful of people on my list of lists to whom I would refrain throwing a rope if they were hanging on a cliff above a pool of sharks and crocks. I’d be the guy above laughing hysterically at them from above as they get torn to shreds. Watching Sarah Palin get torn to shreds would symbolize watching religion get torn to shreds….and that would be worth the price of admission
Ahhh, the joy of hate. It’s a wonderful feeling during these festive times…getting up in the morning and just basking in hate….letting the wonder of hate cascade over your body. As James Taylor once sang, “Shower the People You Hate with Hate.” I couldn’t agree more James….you’re the man….and speaking of men: ALL MEN….Step forward please !! Not so fast Dick and Karl….
#5….tie between Dick Cheney and Karl Rove ( you didn’t REALLY think I was going to leave them out….did you?)
Richard Bruce “Dick” Cheney was born a fucker…and has been one ever since. Simply put, he contributed more than any living American to ruining the country as we know it…..along with another fat, squirrelly mofo whom you best know as “Turd Blossom.” Suffice to say, I hate both of their guts more than is humanly possible and have not much more to say about either of them other than that they are squarely at #5 in our 12 Days of Hatemas……Thus, I will leave further words of hate and disdain to you, my faithful contributors who can express your hate for Dick and Karl better than I most certainly. So my friends…..have at it….
and p.s., please don’t pull your punches.
….and then there were six…
…of the 12 Days of Hatemas, a spirited hatefest celebrating this joyous holiday season of hate as we celebrate and ring in 2011 by bringing you the 12 most hated and hateful people throughout 2010 (according to Southpaw polling experts throughout the U.S.). This wondrous hatefest, in the spirit of the pure joy of hate during these festive times, is based on the most influential, impacting, dangerous, loud-mouth, ugly, obstructive, mean-spirited, racist, piece-of-shit motherfuckers throughout the year 2010. Here’s hoping they won’t have a chance to repeat their nefarious ways in the coming year….or hoping they just drop dead…
#6: Tie between Douchebag vs. Douchebag: Eric Cantor and Mike Pence
Well at least John Boehner cries (albeit disingenuously) whereas these two fuckers wouldn’t cry at a quadruple feature of “Field of Dreams,” To Kill A Mockingbird,” “Terms of Endearment,” and “Hachi: A Dog’s Tale.” In fact, reliable sources have it that Cantor was caught laughing and cracking fart jokes at a showing of “Schindler’s List”….made all the more reprehensible since Cantor is Jewish. Pence, on the other hand, has been known to distract Salvation Army “bell ringers” long enough to grab a fist full of change on numerous occasions. Legend has it that back in 1996, Pence, a volunteer firefighter in the town of Terre Haute, instructed his crew to let a home burn to the ground despite the fact that they responded with more than enough time to put it out. When interviewed later, Firefighter Pence said he had to let the house burn to the ground because the elderly resident was a month late on her firefighting dues. “Even my own grandmother is not above the law,” Pence said. Later it was discovered that the home belonged to 87-year-old Hortense Pence……Pence’s grandmother.
Pence, in a heated moment
The word “ruthless” doesn’t even come close to defining Eric Cantor and Mike Pence who would stop at nothing to becoming America’s top leaders. Pence, who describes himself as a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican…in that order, is so conservative he makes Jesse Helms look like Bella Abzug. READ MY LIPS: “I…….HATE……MIKE……..PENCE’S………………………GUTS!!!!!”
“How in god’s name did that colored guy get into the picture?!” screams Pence at his photographer after this picture was taken of Pence posing as a “leader” of America’s finest, as opposed to the non-serving chickenhawk fuckhead that he is
To paraphrase Will Rogers, Pence never met an obstruction he didn’t like. And oh, btw, he’s running for President in 2012. And don’t think for a second, in the fucked America in which we live, that he can’t be elected. Given our recent swing towards all things “teabag,” I would venture that he’s the front-runner.
Cantor is Tom Delay with slightly better hair and a little less paunch. Besides that, the only difference between him and Delay is a scary one: Delay was all-powerful but had no friends. Thus, when he fell….he fell hard with no one to cushion the blow. Cantor, on the other hand, is a schmoozehound…an ass-kisser who works 24-7 to try to ingratiate himself with Republican high-rollers who have deep pockets….while doing everything he can to undermine two men: Barack Obama and John Boehner. You better believe it baby. Cantor would like nothing better than to see John Boehner choke up so much on one of his sad, hangdog bullshit stories that he accidentally chokes on a gristly piece of that porterhouse steak he’s working on….conveniently leaving an empty seat in which Eric can take what he considers his rightful place in America’s leadership so that he can full forcibly ass-fuck us into submission.
Paul Ryan, one of Eric’s rivals for unchecked power, teases Eric about his two-inch penis. Clearly Eric is not amused….and he will make Paul pay….mark my word.
Eric, of course, knows that he stands zero chance of winning the Presidency…given his Jewishness…..so he’s perfectly content, like Delay before him, to wield an iron fist behind the scenes. Mark my word: sooner or later (and probably much sooner) the House of Representatives will belong to Eric Cantor. And the only way to dislodge him will be turning that wild rumor about Eric getting drunk as an undergrad at George Washington U. and waking up the next morning in his dorm room in the arms of a guy named Biff, into reality. Pictures, by the way, were taken….but, unfortunately, there was no youtube back then. Where was invasion of privacy when you needed it?
Eric plots his strategy to take over the world while patiently awaiting his turn at the podium….
But seriously folks, the ruthless ambition and insatiable desire for power and their absolute vows to obstruct President Obama at every turn (especially Pence) makes these two young fucks two of most viciously dangerous people in America. And it puts them solidly at #6 with a bullet….in this year’s “12 Days of Hatemas.”
Throughout this joyous holiday season let us celebrate and ring in 2011 by bringing you the 12 days of Hatemas featuring the most hateful people in America and wishing you a hate-filled holiday season celebrating the most hated and hateful people of this past year (according to Southpaw polling experts throughout the U.S.). This wonderful hatefest, in the spirit of the pure joy of hate during these festive times, is based on the most influential, impacting, dangerous, loud-mouth, ugly, obstructive, mean-spirited, racist, piece-of-shit motherfuckers throughout the year 2010. Here’s hoping they won’t have a chance to repeat their nefarious ways in the coming year….or hoping they just drop dead…
#7…..Michele Bachmann…
….who wouldn’t even be in the top 20 if not for the fact that she continues unabated as an elected U.S. Representative from the once-sane state of Minnesota (hard to believe it’s the same state that’s given us Hubert Humphrey, Walter Mondale, and Paul Wellstone). But she sits at #7 because, more than any living American, she symbolizes the steadfast deterioration of the last remnants of American intellect (whatever that is). Rep Bachmann, in fact, best represents the new America whose prevalence is now to “ready, fire, and aim” in all of life’s activities. Rep Bachmann has the rare affliction of what my mom used to refer to as “diarrhea of the mouth” (as in “That girl has a serious case of diarrhea of the mouth”), which basically applies to the inane, meaningless, drug-induced blather of someone who won’t shut the fuck up. In Michele’s case, not only will she never shut the fuck up, but she seems to have a ceaseless penchant for saying shit that could only be viewed as sane by Papa Doc Duvalier. In fact, Michele makes Muammar Gaddafi seem as cogent as John Kenneth Galbraith. Truth, logic, sanity, cogency, etc., matter little to Bachmann. She just makes up whatever shit happens to enter her crazed mind and, “ready….fire…..aim”….just fucking says it. Here are just a few of her nuggets of wisdom:
“There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.” – Oct. 2006
“I don’t know where they’re going to get all this money because we’re running out of rich people in this country.” – Bachmann, accusing the Obama administration of plotting to divert money from Republican to Democratic districts and planning to tax the wealthy to fund the windfalls, Feb. 2009
“I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us ‘having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,’ and the people — we the people — are going to have to fight back hard if we’re not going to lose our country.” -March 2009
Take this into consideration. If we look at American history, between 1942 and 1947, the data that was collected by the Census Bureau was handed over to the FBI and other organizations at the request of President Roosevelt, and that’s how the Japanese were rounded up and put into the internment camps. I’m not saying that that’s what the Administration is planning to do, but I am saying that private personal information that was given to the Census Bureau in the 1940s was used against Americans to round them up, in a violation of their constitutional rights, and put the Japanese in internment camps.” -June 2009
“Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.” —February 2005
Sure, Christine O’Donnell and Sharron Angle have said some nutty things too….but they weren’t elected (but came mighty close….in the case of Angle). The alarming fact that Bachmann was elected, and reelected as one of our nation’s U.S. Representatives clearly shows that Americans, in the year 2010, not only support such erratic, irrational, and maniacal thought and behavior in the halls of their nation’s Congress, they wholeheartedly endorse it. And therein lies why she symbolizes such danger and the imminent demise of whatever is left of “thought” in America as we knew it. It hardly matters that she comes from a northern state that, ostensibly, leaned progressive as opposed to some Alabama backwater region. She was elected as as one of only 438 members of the U.S. House of Representatives. Is this an anomaly? I’m afraid not.
My fear is the proverbial dike against the tide of more “Bachmanns, Angles, Palins, and O’Donnells is weakening by the minute…until it finally breaks against the strain of the irrational, theological crazed loonies who represent all things “tea” and more and we shall be awash with “them”….until “them” is us. For if Michele Bachman were, indeed, only an anomaly….like, say, Orville Fabus or Lester Maddox in their respective eras, well then, we’d have nothing to worry about would we? But I’m afraid that is simply not the case. Michele, my friends, is here to stay whether we fucking like it or not. And if he had not already been spoken for, she most certainly would have made a worthy mistress for Adolf himself. And she is most worthy of #7 of the 12 Days of Hatemas….
(Kudos to all those who had her in their top seven)
The 12 Days of Hatemas…..brought to you by America’s favorite sports drink…..Hateraide….which wishes you a hate-filled holiday season celebrating the most hated and hateful people of this past year (according to Southpaw polling experts throughout the U.S.).
Number 8….The man we can’t stand without a plan with brains of sand who ran and ran for a can of tan.
If something were to happen to President Obama and Vice President Biden…..(((brrrr)))….I shudder to think of the horror……the horror.
BOEHNER!!!!!!!!!!!!
The horror!
You guessed it. This fuckstick, our next “Speaker of the House” would be our next President….thanks to that little old thing called the Constitution. If you listen carefully, you can just barely hear a conversation between Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson….
“Ben, if something dreadful and unthinkable were to happen to me and Aaron Burr simultaneously, I say the Speaker of our great House of Representatives should be our next President….what say you old chap?”
“Thomas….a wonderful idea indeed….just wonderful !! But what would become of our new free world if its leadership fell into the hands of a fucking, empty-headed monkey such as John Boehner?!”
((GASP)) “Perish the thought my dear friend Ben….never…NEVER I say would the people of this great land of ours put a man so dreadfully stupid….a man with the brains of an ape and the balls of an ant in charge of their destiny….OUR DESTINY!!” ((GASP)) !
“Why Thomas my good man…it says here that this chap Boehner’s I.Q. is barely that of an orangutan. Nearly as low as that of citizen Ronald Reagan!”
“By golly you’re right Thomas old bean…..how insipid of me to think such silly things. Now then, shall we quaff a pint of ale in the name of freedom?”
“YES….LET’S !!”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
….ah, and laugh they did, our founding fathers…but little did they know that truth is stranger than fiction….that yes indeed the American people were destined to become dumber….and dumber……and dumber until they could no longer name the nine Supreme Court Justices (or even a single one)….they no longer knew the difference between “its” and “it’s,” they thought the sun and the moon were our eighth and ninth planets, they spelled “separate” “separete”, and they thought Iraq was sandwiched somewhere between Honduras and El Salvador…..In short, their worst nightmare was to come true: the American people were to put a man third in line for the Presidency with one single qualification: his ability to evenly apply a fake tan courtesy of five cans of tan.
…a hunka hunka hunka burnin’ love
And so it has come to this: John Boehner, a man without an original thought in his life, the quintessential “missing link” of politics, a man so stupid he changes the definition of stupidity as we know it, will become third in line for the Presidency. And it is only because he IS so stupid that he ranks a mere eighth in our celebratory and festive Hatefest known as the 12 Days of Hatemas. For this, Americans should be proud….because if fate were to give us this man as our President we would finally have someone in charge as dumb as us.
“What’s that?” We already HAD someone as dumb as us??” Okay then….never mind.
…
Editor’s Note: Be sure to check out the Reader’s Challenge above.
