After two best selling books about her life with Jesus, how much the liberal media has tried to screw her at every turn, and how important freedom is to her, Sarah Palin is ready to reveal a darker side in her third book to be released this summer. In her upcoming book, “12 Rounds With Lucifer,” Sarah reveals everything from the time she spent as a hooker down by the Anchorage docks during its cold winter months, her years addicted to crystal meth and PCP, how she was even stoned out of her fucking mind on the very night she was elected mayor of Wasilla, and how each of her children has a different father.
“It was hard having to force my own daughter (Bristol) to turn tricks when she hit 15, but I did what I had to do to subsidize Todd’s ongoing heroin habit,” Sarah reveals in Chapter 6.
“FUCK CHRISTIANS!!!” Sarah says she used to rant in a PCP-induced rage that was more commonplace than not back in her “dark days”
prior to her unexpected victory as Wasilla’s first dyke mayor. “Yes, I was a lesbian,” she admits in chap 12, “before I was introduced to Nigerian-style Christian voodoo and found God. I found God and it saved me from the devil of PCP and crystal meth. If not for God, I wouldn’t be the incredibly beautiful and brilliant success story that I am today.”
“That bitch is a fucking bullshitter and a liar…about the Christian voodoo shit….all of it,” says husband Todd candidly about Sarah’s revelations.
“She’s still a user too man. There’s a meth lab right down the road from here and Sarah practically lives there. And that heroin addict shit she said about me? Total bullshit. I’ve never had a drug problem….only a woman problem…and more specifically, only a ‘Sarah Palin’ problem,” Todd added before shooting up. “Besides, man, Sarah’s a fucking whore…and that’s all there is to it.”
“If you hate her so much why don’t you leave her?” asks Southpaw.
“Because she’s my meal ticket man. And she’d never dare to leave me. She knows I have the goods on her….man do I ever.”
“What do you mean?” asks Southpaw
“You know that Alaskan oil pipeline that runs about 2000 fucking miles? Well do you think we just gave Exxon a free license to pump oil through that goddamn thing? Let’s just say that license wasn’t free….and we’ll leave it at that,” Todd Palin said coyly.
“Can you be more specific Mr. Palin?”
“I just said….WE’LL LEAVE IT AT THAT,” Todd added with a stern look as he flicked his lit cigarette butt at Southpaw.
“But what about the rest of ’12 Rounds With Lucifer’?” asked Southpaw.
“What about it?” said Todd. “I mean, the chick is a pathological liar. Do you think I would have married her if I had known she was a lesbian? I hate her so much that just before her goddamn campaign in ’08 I thought seriously of having her kil……,” Palin’s voice trailed off.
“What’s that?” asked Southpaw.
“Nothing man….but quite a few of my Aryan friends don’t like all the attention that her political life was bringing to our activities and a few of them recommended that I….”
“That you what?”
“I think this interview’s about over man…besides, I’ve got to get back to sharpening my knives.”
Sarah’s book will also reveal how she and her family narrowly escaped a fire that she “accidentally” started from a crack cocaine pipe that exploded causing the kitchen curtains to catch fire which burned down her family’s double-wide. This incident happened just days after Sarah allegedly rammed a kitchen knife into the ribs of her common law husband, Jerry “Peckerhead” Lange, who is now serving 20 years to life for running an Alaskan prostitution ring and distributing cocaine.
“America is the greatest country in the world and the fact that an abusive, drug-addicted, lesbian, trailer-trash, man-stabbing prostitute can become one of the most beloved figures in American history,” wrote Sarah in the final chapter of “12 Rounds With Lucifer.” “Only in America can someone like me become rich, famous, and highly-regarded,” she added.