After two best selling books about her life with Jesus, how much the liberal media has tried to screw her at every turn, and how important freedom is to her, Sarah Palin is ready to reveal a darker side in her third book to be released this summer. In her upcoming book, “12 Rounds With Lucifer,” Sarah reveals everything from the time she spent as a hooker down by the Anchorage docks during its cold winter months, her years addicted to crystal meth and PCP, how she was even stoned out of her fucking mind on the very night she was elected mayor of Wasilla, and how each of her children has a different father.
Whore Sarah showing off the goods
“It was hard having to force my own daughter (Bristol) to turn tricks when she hit 15, but I did what I had to do to subsidize Todd’s ongoing heroin habit,” Sarah reveals in Chapter 6.
“FUCK CHRISTIANS!!!” Sarah says she used to rant in a PCP-induced rage that was more commonplace than not back in her “dark days”
prior to her unexpected victory as Wasilla’s first dyke mayor. “Yes, I was a lesbian,” she admits in chap 12, “before I was introduced to Nigerian-style Christian voodoo and found God. I found God and it saved me from the devil of PCP and crystal meth. If not for God, I wouldn’t be the incredibly beautiful and brilliant success story that I am today.”
Sarah, the good Christian, prepares for church
“That bitch is a fucking bullshitter and a liar…about the Christian voodoo shit….all of it,” says husband Todd candidly about Sarah’s revelations.
“She’s still a user too man. There’s a meth lab right down the road from here and Sarah practically lives there. And that heroin addict shit she said about me? Total bullshit. I’ve never had a drug problem….only a woman problem…and more specifically, only a ‘Sarah Palin’ problem,” Todd added before shooting up. “Besides, man, Sarah’s a fucking whore…and that’s all there is to it.”
Todd thinks long and hard about ridding himself of the cancer called "Sarah Palin"
“If you hate her so much why don’t you leave her?” asks Southpaw.
“Because she’s my meal ticket man. And she’d never dare to leave me. She knows I have the goods on her….man do I ever.”
“What do you mean?” asks Southpaw
“You know that Alaskan oil pipeline that runs about 2000 fucking miles? Well do you think we just gave Exxon a free license to pump oil through that goddamn thing? Let’s just say that license wasn’t free….and we’ll leave it at that,” Todd Palin said coyly.
While Sarah vows to lead her state, Todd vows to eventually kil..... Sarah
“Can you be more specific Mr. Palin?”
“I just said….WE’LL LEAVE IT AT THAT,” Todd added with a stern look as he flicked his lit cigarette butt at Southpaw.
“But what about the rest of ’12 Rounds With Lucifer’?” asked Southpaw.
“What about it?” said Todd. “I mean, the chick is a pathological liar. Do you think I would have married her if I had known she was a lesbian? I hate her so much that just before her goddamn campaign in ’08 I thought seriously of having her kil……,” Palin’s voice trailed off.
“What’s that?” asked Southpaw.
“Nothing man….but quite a few of my Aryan friends don’t like all the attention that her political life was bringing to our activities and a few of them recommended that I….”
“That you what?”
“I think this interview’s about over man…besides, I’ve got to get back to sharpening my knives.”
Sarah’s book will also reveal how she and her family narrowly escaped a fire that she “accidentally” started from a crack cocaine pipe that exploded causing the kitchen curtains to catch fire which burned down her family’s double-wide. This incident happened just days after Sarah allegedly rammed a kitchen knife into the ribs of her common law husband, Jerry “Peckerhead” Lange, who is now serving 20 years to life for running an Alaskan prostitution ring and distributing cocaine.
Jerry "Peckerhead" Lange
“America is the greatest country in the world and the fact that an abusive, drug-addicted, lesbian, trailer-trash, man-stabbing prostitute can become one of the most beloved figures in American history,” wrote Sarah in the final chapter of “12 Rounds With Lucifer.” “Only in America can someone like me become rich, famous, and highly-regarded,” she added.
Too funny! And only marginally fictional.
You’ve been a busy beagle of late…
All true my friend….I have a “source” in Wasilla
A ha Lefty!
You’ve done it again! Would those sources in Wasill a go by the names of Lardini and Larsen?
The late show had a pretty good recap of Sarah’s finer debate moments.
Kalamama, thanks for your extremely kind words on my blog. I wanted you to know (and I noted in my reply to you on my blog) that I have read some very poetic words by you on SPB. I think you should give poetry a try. I think the trick is to wait until an emotion builds up that is too big to describe in prose (joy, sadness, anger, poignancy, passion, being swept away by nature, etc.). When that moment comes, write a poem.
You’re too sweet KJ.
The words for your writing were well deserved, you have a special gift.
While I am a very passionate person whatever the emotion may be, my strongest words tend to come out while being a smartass.
Who knows? Maybe some day I may give it a try, but in the meanwhile, I will leave the real poetry to those of you who have the gift.
Business must be good for Palin based on the looks of her new digs, which includes a studio for her to broadcast her Fox paid opinions, or perhaps launch her Koch backed overthrow of the government.
How is it that she can generate income when so many talented people cannot?
Boggles the mind.
I hear ya, Hito! Except for the paid-appearances, Sarah prefer to broadcast/tweet/whathaveya from Der Palinbunker (funded by Murdoch, Koch Industries and certain unnamed interests by-way-of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce – thanks a lot, SCOTUS!!), and her brainwashed minions lap it up like pigs in a trough. Tsk..
Sarah does lover her Koch BF….
Great interview beagle ill bet the Media Whore and Glenda Beck, Rush Limpgag, Slant Head Hannity , Big Mouth Ofucken riley , The Morning Joe and Gigglers bunch all lost their minds at the same crack party. Her funny book s sell well to that crowd only.Yep only in America could such fucking dressed up Pig and thats not fair to the swine, make so much money off the fools . Her kids are learning from her and will do the same. By the way Beagle what ever happened that last baby she carried around like a rag doll did it run away? Follow the freak show beagle but be careful that bunch is like North Korea
Got home late last night from a Thanksgiving trip (BTW, I hope yours was well!) and went for a bit of a lurk around HP and I thnk I may have spotted Trig – or one of them Palin-runts, anyway – posting as ‘Celebrate2nd’ (meaning ‘celebrate 2nd birthday’, maybe???).
“crystal myth”… LOL! Funny how in all the areas where baggers have just won seats in Congress there is crystal myth of epidemic proportions.
Of course, it is endemic in places like Alaska and certain rural areas such as around St. Cloud, MN (where the Bachmann myth-labs are located), and north-central Florida (the latter where I see its effects first-hand)…
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometime your mind scares me, baby…but in a good way.
All kidding aside, wonderful post. I know I keep saying this but it is one of your best.
Just out today to expand my reading pleasure , thought I’d dip in and see what’s up!
Finally…an ‘article’ about Palin I wanted to read!!
Finally a truthy story about Sarah — check out the Palin Family photo album here:
Woah…that was amazing. Quite a reality check. Thanks. And I was worried about dying my hair to cover the grey next week. Seems stupid now.
I think a touch of grey is just fine, or in my case more salt than pepper.