David Gregory First Male Member of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders


Fulfilling a lifelong dream, Meet the Press hack anchor, Republican whore-boy, and former male stripper, David Gregory, signed on today as the 243rd Dallas Cowboy cheerleader becoming the first male member to be selected to this elite fraternity.  The only other “males” ever considered for this honor were George W. Bush, Trent Lott, and Newt Gingrich–all of whom were eventually rejected in favor of real women.

“It’s something I’ve dreamed of since I was a boy who  played with dolls and loved dressing up in my sister’s cheerleading outfits and wearing her panties hiked  up in my asscrack,” said Gregory proudly.  “I’ve tried out at least six times and was giving up hope…..but then that call came in and I just jumped out of my skin.   I immediately took out a pair of my favorite pink stretch spandex with the  bare midriff and put them on and couldn’t believe how sexy and cute I looked.”

Pussy journalist, David Gregory, in a celebratory pose after his selection to the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders

“A prerequisite for men to make it as a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader is to be a vacillating, whiny,  ass-kissing, semi-attractive (in an effeminate way) pussy with blow-dried poofster-looking hair who laughs like a hyena at stuff that’s not funny,” said Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader recruiter and former porn actress Anita Mandelay.   “George W. Bush, Trent Lott, Karl Rove, and Newt Gingrich had all of those qualities except the semi-attractive and the blow-dried hair part which is why they were never chosen despite the fact that GWB continues to try out each year.  He is one persistent monkey,” added Mandelay.

Gregory was a cheerleader in high school and college and a much-respected and renowned pussy by those who knew him then.

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND AMANDA HUGANKISS?!!" shouts Gregory

“David always preferred to wear female cheerleading outfits to the traditional male suit that consisted of a sweater with a football embroidered on the chest and a pair of long sweat pants,” said Dixon Butts, former Gregory roommate and fellow stripper.  “He loved how the girls panties felt and how they clenched up into his buttcrack.  I think it made him feel like a real man.”

Dixon Butts laughs it up with his former roommate and fellow male stripper, David Gregory

Gregory will debut as the first Dallas Cowboy male cheerleader this Sunday at Fedex Field in Landover Maryland when the Cowboys play the Washington Redskins.  Later he will meet Karl Rove where the two will revitalize their dance team of Rove and Gregory at the Club Gayboy where the two of them will perform to Alicia Bridges’ “I Love the Nightlife,” Anita Ward’s “Ring my Bell,” and Chuck Berry’s “My Ding-a-ling.”

(Gregory does the Tubesnake Boogie with fellow rightwinger, Karl Rove):

(Watch quintessential white boy, David Gregory, doing an incredible  imitation of a fat-cheeked, poofster white boy pathetically attempting to dance like a soul brother):

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16 responses to “David Gregory First Male Member of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders

  1. This is what Gregory was aiming for. He did not have the stones to pull it off though.

  2. ROTFLMAO!

  3. Lefty, you continue to outdo yourself each time I read your thoughts. I love it, love it, love it. He was the worst choice they could have made for the program. I feel that Rachel Maddow would do MTP true justice. Continue on Lefty. Good Job.

    Jim Freeman, tbirdalum.

    • Rachel is a real journalist my friend. She is NOT a natural….only a hard worker with journalistic integrity, honesty, and a seeker of the truth. She is like a throwback to the hard-scrabble, gumshoe journalists of the past. Gregory, on the other hand, IS a natural…but has wasted all of his natural talent in favor of blow-dried hair and superficiality. I hate his guts

  4. thatsitfortheotherwon

    David didn’t get those round lips from eating square meals.

  5. Hello, Gitmo!

    Super silly dog.

  6. I wish I hadn’t eaten dinner before viewing these two vids. Blech! Pathetic white men who need to show the world they can’t dance and have no sense of rhythm.

    Rove looked the pussy I’ve always suspected he is, so tough designing plans to destroy governments, but the MF couldn’t pull off a slow dance with McConnell if he wanted to. And Gregory….ewww. How did Mary J. Blige keep from laughing at Mr. David Disco?

    Oh LT, these choice tidbits were epic. Thanks for sharing.

    • “DAVE DISCO !!!! Wish I’d thought of that

      • I can almost see him in platform shoes ala Peewee, or perhaps even disco-rollerskating while wearing shiny tight clothing. Wonder how many times he saw “Saturday Night Fever”?

    • I could not bear to watch Rove dancing but David Gregory was something to see. I have been searching for a perfect word and I cannot find it.

      There is a self-absorption and mincing delicacy in the movement that reminds me of a woman who considers herself adorable but who would be out of her depth in a situation calling for passion or for any role in the bedroom other than passively receiving the ministrations of her partner.

      • Are you saying David’s the kind of guy who lays down and says “Service me because I’m that wonderful, but be forewarned that I have no intentions of demonstrating my approval of your ministrations”?

        Yeah, there’s a word for that kind of attitude. Lemme think on it.

        • I came up with a word to describe him: Precious

          I see something solipsistic in the way that Gregory moves. I can see that he feels erotic pleasure while he is dancing. The pleasure seems so self-contained. So much like vain woman who is more aroused by her sense of how arousing she is than she is by the man she is with.

          PS Did you know Bush called Gregory “Dancing Man” because he likes to display his dancing moves?

          • You are intense, no wonder you’re an excellent poet.

            To be aroused by the man she is with would require acknowledgment that he existed.

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