The new commenter badges instituted by Huffington Post has recently led to unexpected class warfare, ala French novelist Emile Zola’s portrayal of the bourgeois vs the proletariat, between those designated with Networker, Superuser, or Moderator badges….or the lowest class of all…those without ANY badges.
“We’re sick to shit of Superusers looking down their noses at us,” said Networker Mia Buttreeks….” but at least they don’t spit on us like the Moderators. A bunch of us Networkers were down at the town square recently and some Moderators came along and began asking us for our identification and I know it was just based on how we were dressed. Anyway, I told one of them to fuck off and he came at me with a baseball bat…and the next thing you know, all hell broke loose and there were just people kicking, and swinging, and punching everywhere you looked.”
As for the Superusers? “They were just kind of standing around doing nothing and watching it all go down,” said Buttreeks.
To provide the proper historical context, Huffington Post recently created the badges as a way to divide commenters in the following classes:
Moderator: The Bourgeois Elite users who should be regarded as better than anyone else
Superuser: Mid-level managers who are arrogant but must suck up to Moderators
Networkers: Low class proletariat grunt workers who dress the same and can be easily identified
Non-badges: Lowest of the low….users who have no rights, and are generally regarded as the pond scum bottom feeders
“WE even hate the “Non-badges”, said Buttreeks. They’re street urchins, thieves, and gypsies who smell really really bad. You don’t want any moving in your neighborhood. “
As for the Moderator’s recent campaign to I.D. check Networkers, Lar G. Rection said something has to be done to stop the flow of them coming across the border.
“We’re not racists,” said Rection. “Some of my closet friends are Networkers. We just don’t want them taking our jobs, women, buying our goods, or breathing our air…that’s all. It’s nothing personal. We just want our country back from Networkers.”
“Fuck them, said Networker, Mike Oxhard. “If they want a piece of me tell them to come and get it and they WILL feel the full weight of the business end of my Louisville Slugger.”
Asked to comment on the civil warfare between badge classes that is breaking out across the nation more frequently by the day, Huffington Post owner Ariana Huffington said she doesn’t give a shit.
“Good Darling” said Ms. Huffington. “I’ve always believed that the vest way to veed out undesirables is to create class systems much like they used to do in my native Greece many years ago. This, of course, vasn’t our intention in creating the badge system but vhat the hell…as long as it’s vorking, that’s great. Seeing how it’s created more division in this country that’s leading to ridding us of people who are less than the elite is an unexpected, but vut truly delightful benefit.”