Last name: ________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
What does everyone call you?
(_) Booger
(_) Bubba
(_) Junior
(_) Sissy
(_) Other___________________
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Spouse’s Name:_________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name:______________________
3rd Spouse’s Name:______________________
Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet
Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: ______
Number that are yours: ______
Mother’s Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)
Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you (_) own or (_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
Total number of vehicles you own: ___
Number of vehicles that still crank: ___
Number of vehicles in front yard: ___
Number of vehicles in back yard: ___
Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed
Model and year of your pickup: 196_
Do you have a gun rack?
(_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun
Number of times you’ve seen a UFO:_____
Number of times in the last 5 years you’ve seen Elvis:_____
Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO:_____
How often do you bathe:
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Not Applicable
Color of eyes:
Left______ Right_____
Color of hair:
(_) Blond
(_) Red
(_) Brown
(_) White
(_) Clairol
Color of teeth:
(_) Yellow
(_) Brownish-Yellow
(_) Brown
(_) Black
(_) N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
(_) 1 mile
(_) 2 miles
(_) just a whoop-and-a-holler
(_) road?
Hey SPB! U fergot tu enklood du u got indoor oar outdoor plummin?
1 holer ohr 2?
du u perfur corn cobs oar sears rowbuck cattylogs?
jus’ funnin’ wid ya’ Billy Bob Earl! Kin enybody play duelin’ banjoes cuz I jus’ knowed sumbodees messin’ wid dem dar pigs agin’?
Bwahahahahahahaahahahahahahahah!!!!!!
Thanks for not including “how fat are you” question in your survey.
But you probably should have asked how often they have sex.
Har har.
Just a few weeks ago, the talking point was how wealthy and educated these people [sic] are…
Ya don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.
the media is incessantly trying to move such fuckheads up the socioeconomic ladder…but truth be told, they were, are, and always will be white trash no matter how they may present
Question: Is that a teabagger amidst a bunch of war protesters in the bottom photo??
good catch my friend….I’ll have to change that photo cause he COULD be “wanting his country back” from Bush. I just saw the “I want my country back” and ignored the rest of it….again, good catch
Indeed. There’s “Wanting My Country Back,” and then there’s “Wantin’ Mah Cuuuuntry Back.” Two totally different things.
The Census left out a crucial question: how many thumbs do you have? (specify 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 or more)
Love it! Shoe size: Left__ Right__ HA!HA! I saw that report about so-called intileckshulul Tea Baggers and wondered where the hell that came from! My first thought was they filled out forms with questions like this and didn’t want to show their stupidity so they wrote in cullige edukated, although where asked highest degree attained, one wrote 103 when I had the mumps!
I have been informed by some very #$%^&*( emails from rightwing trolls that teabagging is a sexual act…something to do with a mans privates that look like used tea bags (family sized I guess) and the suction power of Hoover vacuum cleaners…I’ll bet the old lady in the picture who says she’s teabagging for Jesus would croak if she got a visual picture (you know one of those balloons above cartoon heads) of what her sign proclaims she’s doing!
Yepper….
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teabagging
…that’s one of the reasons I so liberally use the phrase…for its double meaning
I wanted to answer the census , great question
you for get how often you hunt
you’ve met my neighbors, clearly.