(continuing in our celebration of all things Boehner in this, “Boehner Recognition Month”, we bring you another retread in the life and times of John Boehner):
It seems that new House Speaker, John “Piles” Boehner, has found another career for which he can put his “crying on demand” skills to good use.
The new Speaker, well known for his spontaneous outbursts of crying, blubbering, and sobbing, will have one of the lead roles in “The Crying Game-Part II,” a sequel to Neil Jordan’s 1992 thriller that included one of the most stunning scenes in film history when the character, played by actor Jaye Davidson, dropped his/her drawers revealing she was a he after he was thought to have been a woman throughout the film.
But get ready because Part II will have a shocking twist as well (stop reading now if you don’t want us to ruin the surprise). “In Part II, John will be that guy/gal,” said first-time director, Amanda Ryde. “In this version, John will play a ‘man’ but, just before he ‘gets down,’ as it were, with a female suitor, it’s revealed that John is a woman. And when the woman who expected to have sex with John discovers that he stunningly does NOT have a pecker, she berates him until he cries and cries.”
Such rebukes and subsequent crying take place throughout the film…thus the name, “The Crying Game.” “If you recall, there was never that much actual crying per se in the original ‘Crying Game,’” added Ryde. “As a matter of fact, I could never quite figure out why they called it that instead of just calling it ‘Woman with a Dick,’ or something like that, because that one scene was really all that movie was about,” added Ryde, bashing the original. “This one will be more original because we have what we like to call ‘The Boehner Factor.’”
This will be Speaker Boehner’s first major acting role but won’t be the first time he’s tried his hand at acting.
“Oh I’ve been acting ever since I was a kid,” said Boehner. “I played ‘Tinkerbell’ in our H.S. production of Peter Pan. And I played one of the ‘boys’ in “Boys in the Band” in college. Plus I’ve essentially been acting ever since I was elected to the House. This should be a piece of cake. And you know how everyone calls me ‘Boner’ instead of Boehner? Well the ironic thing in this movie is when the truth comes out, I’ll have anything BUT a boner…hahahahahaaha!”
“He’ll be perfect because if old ‘Boner’ is good at anything, it’s crying,” said Rep. Boehner’s long-time pal, Rep Louie Gohmert (TX). “Boner is one crying motherfucker.”