Paul Revere meets Johnny Reb is about the best way you can describe these strange bedfellows.
Teabaggers and Civil War Reenactors–two groups with lots of time on their hands and who like to dress up in clothes of the 18th and 19th century respectively–have joined forces to take their cuntry back. The two groups will meet next Monday at 10 a.m. in a great big farm field outside of Clarksville, TN to discuss getting their cuntry back. One group will show up in Paul Revere outfits, complete with funny hats, pirate shirts with metal buttons, and shoes with buckles, and the other will show up in their conventional Confederate soldier outfits that they normally wear five to six days of each week.
Unemployed Teabaggers prepare to meet in big field in Tennessee
Members of the Unemployed Civil War Reenactors pose for one last photo before they have their big meeting as part of a big hoe down at a big field in Tennessee
“We’re really looking forward to this,” said Lou Stule, leader of Teabaggers Local #38. “This will be like the 1700′s meeting the 1800′s in our collective efforts to get our cuntry back. I can’t think of a better group to demand our cuntry back than to do it with the Civil War Reenactors who I know for certain want their cuntry back almost as much as we want our cuntry back. “
Lou Stule, Teabagger Local Leader
When hearing that they only want their cuntry back “ALMOST” as much as the teabaggers, Fudd G. Packer, leader of Unemployed Civil War Reenactors of the Deep South bristled: “Nobody wants their cuntry back more than us. For them to say they want their cuntry back more than us…even a little bit more than us…is just false and doesn’t exactly get our meeting this coming Monday off to a good start.” Added Packer, “we may end up battling them with our fake guns and rubber bayonets instead of the people we’re out there to do battle with in the first place in our protest to get our cuntry back.”
Fudd G. Packer, Unemployed Civil War Reenactor
When asked exactly from whom they want their cuntry back, Packer replied succinctly, “Them.”
When asked who “Them” is, he said, “They.”
But when asked by a somewhat confused Southpaw who them and they is, Packer simply regurgitated the same fucking nonsense and horseshit stating “Them is them and they is they…but also too they can be them and them can be they.”
“Whatever,” added a cynical Stule, of the Teabaggers Local when told of Packer’s comments. “Packer can claim all he wants, but our group wants our cuntry back much more than their group.” Added Stule, who is also unemployed, “There is no group who wants its cuntry back more than our group and we aim to prove it on Monday at 10 at that big field in Clarksville, TN, even if it means we have to draw our rubber swords and fake muskets on them and then possibly have sex with them. “
“We wear our uniforms because we want our cuntry back,” added an indignant Stule.
“But why do you want your cuntry back?” asked Southpaw looking for clarification on this issue.
“So we can wear these uniforms,” Stule added intent on clearing up this subject once and for all.
Random shot of a bunch of unemployed Civil War Reenactors standing around wearing clothes from another century who have nothing to do and not knowing exactly what it is they are supposed to be doing which is why they're just standing around
“Look, I don’t dress up in this ridiculous Confederate uniform five or six times a week for nothing,” said Packer responding to Stule’s comments. “We do it because we want our cuntry back more than anything and we plan to prove that we want our cuntry back more than they want their cuntry back at that big field in Clarksville on Monday. We’re ready to challenge these guys over who wants their cuntry back more even if it leads to kangeroo punching and then caressing and then on to gay sex if we’re not careful. But that’s entirely up to the Teabaggers and how far they want to take this thing. Things could get nasty,” added Packer with his pasty, white jowls quivering.
Provided things stay somewhat congenial, the Teabagger-Civil War Reenactor field meet promises to be a good time for all. After a couple of hours of prancing around in their teabagging and confederate outfits with fake rubber sword and saber-rattling, there will be an old-fashioned BBQ hoe down with music from what’s left of Lynard Skynard, and the Charlie Daniels Band.
As a special attraction, international C & W superstar, Lee Greenwood, who has sold a total of 500 records in the last 15 years, will perform his original hit “The I Waant Mah Cuntry Back Rap” which will be accompanied by break dancing by the Civil War Reenactors Funky Bunch. Here’s a sample…
I waan mah cuntry back I waan mah cuntry back I waana waana waana waana cuntry back….cu cu cu cu cu cu cu cuntry cu cu cu cu cu cu cuntry…((weeki weeki))…I waan mah cuntry back I waan mah cuntry back I waana waana waana waana cuntry back….cu cu cu cu cu cu cu cuntry cu cu cu cu cu cu cuntry…ah waan waana waana waana waana it back….ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba yak yak yak yak yak yak yak.
Guest speaker will be Adolf Hitler IV who is no relation to THE Adolf Hitler. Hitler will speak on “The Importance of Inclusion–Opening the Door to Negroes and Spics.”
“Have any “Negroes” and/or “Spics” ever shown the slightest bit of interest in either of your groups?” asked Southpaw.
“No,” answered Stule, without elaborating.
If you’d like to take part in this festivity you can get your tickets at any K-Mart, Dollar General store, or $5.00 all-you- can-stuff-into-your-face buffet restaurants or any other location that mostly caters to white trash across the country.